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Many people try to look younger than they really are. What are the reasons for that?


gianglt98 2 / -  
Aug 31, 2018   #1
Many people try to look younger than they really are. What are the reasons for that? Is it a positive or negative development?

people desire to look young



Nowadays, there are a larger number of people desiring to look young for their age because of different reasons. In my opinion, the trend is negative and people should not persure that development.

First of all, people usually need many resources such as time and money in order to be a youthful people than the actual age. There are many beauty methods can make people are more beautiful and younger such as making up, massaging which are time-consuming to do. For example, since, many women spend much time on making up before going out, they might go to meetings, dating late. In addition, people usually take big money for beauty methods to have a younger looking and more appealing. The fact that the cost of a cosmetic surgery and high-tech beauty devices are ordinarily out of touc h with people who have a low or medium income.

One of the other drawbacks is that there are a larger amount of bad effects on health when people attempt to have a pretty and youthful imagine by unnatural approaches. Some beauty products which are bad quality can have unwanted effects when people apply them on skin, hair. In fact, in some bad situations, people might come out in a rash on their body or even catch a skin cancer if they use that products in a long time. Furthermore, cosmetic surgeries as cheek lift, breast lift can carry potential risks. People have higher risk of developing complications such as heart attack, lung cancer, pneumonia, stroke and shorten their life span.

In conclusion, to look younger can make people be more confident with their body imagine. However, the disadvantages of beauty methods are extremely serious therefore people should not overuse them.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Sep 1, 2018   #2
Le, while your approach to the essay is acceptable, your opening paragraph is not accurate paraphrase of the original prompt, your paragraphs are not fully developed, and your concluding paragraph is not a proper summary of the preceding discussion. After that listing, I now want to individually discuss the mistakes that you made. That way you will be very clear about the error in your writing and be able to correct in the future.

The opening paraphrase and the concluding summary must be comprised of at least 3 sentences in order to gain proper GRA and C&C scoring considerations. Writing long sentences may seem proper to you but in terms of scoring, you lose points because all you did was write run-on sentences. Overly long sentences, that are separated by commas when periods should have been used shows a lack of punctuation knowledge and little developed sentence structuring skills. Always use the 3-5 sentence paragraph presentation and refrain from using commas when periods are more applicable. These are writing methods that are guaranteed to increase your GRA and C&C scores.

Try to limit your discussion per paragraph to only one topic. You see, when you present more than one topic per paragraph, you don't really get to explain your reasons for saying such a thing. Instead, you only present so-called "Talking Points" which means you only provide possible reasons but no supporting evidence for your claims. This weakens the C&C presentation even further and lessens the overall scoring potential of your presentation.

Now, for the closing paragraph, never present additional reasoning in this paragraph because this is called a summary conclusion for a reason. A summary conclusion takes the shortened version of the body paragraphs , the reasons you provided, then presents it as a reminder to the reader. Then a closing sentence is made by repeating your opinion of the topic. That is why a summary conclusion should never include a new or additional information for discussion. You only have 5 paragraphs for this type of essay writing and each paragraph has a specific function, as you know for sure, that is used to present your discussion of the topic.

Should you decide to apply the corrections to your writing that I suggest, I believe that you will see a marked improvement not only in your writing skills, but also you overall score.


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