In his poem "In Memoriam," romantic poet Alfred Lord Tennyson expresses his view that loss is an unavoidable consequence of love. Yet, rather than shunning love because of this, Tennyson resolves to accept both the experience of love and pain that inevitably comes with it. As he writes in his often quoted passage, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Adapted from James R. Kincaid, Tennyson's Major Poems
ASSIGNMENT: Are people unwise to pursue love even when they know it will cause them pain?
Without the experience of love a person's life is incomplete. I completely agree with the poet Alfred Lord Tennyson's quote, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
It's natural for a person to fall in love with almost anything. This includes falling in love with living things such as pets or humans or even no-living things such as an antique.
This reminds me of an incident which involves a friend of mine. She had lost both of her parents in a car accident when she was only seven years old. After that experience she wouldn't get along with people easily because she had the fear of losing her loved ones. Her life was lonely until I gifter her an umbrella head cockatoo parrot whom she loved the most. After his death due to a wide spread bird disease she went over the trauma of the lost of a close friend.
But this time this sensation taught her that without love a person is completely emotionless and that having someone you can trust and share your experiences with means a lot.
Hey! This is my first essay I have written for the SAT preparation and the first post on this website. After reading the essay most of you might have come to conclusions that I am not good in English. Well that is true! I'm giving SAT and dreaming of getting a high score. I'm using the Princeton Review's word smart to learn the vocabulary for critical reading. Please comment and grade (out of 6 raw marks) the above essay!
its a nice essay
some sentences could be strengthened
instead of no-living things it should be non living
and gifter is not a word i think you were trying to say gifted her with maybe
good luck!
sorry both were typing errors I had actually written it by hand and just typed it on the forum!
Change no-living to non-living...
I was taught that all things have Buddha nature, and that loving any creature or even inanimate objects is self-love. So, I agree with you and Tennyson, all except the idea of losing anything. I am pretty sure nothing is lost as we go around and around.
She had lost both of her...
...was lonely until I gave her an umbrella-head cockatoo parrot that she loved very much.
Commas:
After his death, due to a wide spread bird disease, she went over the trauma of the lost of a close friend.
Great job!! You write without many errors!! At the end, you should talk again about how it is better to love, even though pain will come.
Thanks! =D I'm actually surprised because I was never good in english writing in school and according to your comments it seems that I'm doing quite well even in my first essay! If you people had to grade this essay out of 6 what would it be? Thanks again!
Grade it out of "6", without background on the methodology?
Would 3 mean 50% on a kind of grading scale that outlines a minimum of 60% to pass?
Or would 3 mean 50th percentile (half performed better; half worse)?
Or would it mean that you performed really badly because the scores are scaled to different percentiles (e.g. rating someone on attractiveness: only choosing from 5-10 though theoretically it should be from 1-10)?
Your essay is pretty weak actually.
Sentence by sentence:
1. Strong (bold assertion)
2. Very weak (filler)
3. Average-weak (superficial remark; where is the evidence?)
4. Average-weak (ambiguous: so we can love inanimate objects without any symbolic meaning?)
5. Weak (weak transition, drab)
6. Average (ok, maybe there's a story)
7. Average-strong (building up, maybe getting back to the prompt)
8. Weak (what..? btw "whom" is for humans)
9. Very weak (ok... this clipped writing style has worn out its chances)
10. Very weak (hearsay? "means a lot" -- to what end?)
You should find this article interesting: nytimes.com/2005/05/04/education/04education.html?_r=1
In it, a "Dr. Perelman" from MIT argues vociferously that the essay score (1-6) is based on mere length:
TAKEN FROM THE ARTICLE: "I have never found a quantifiable predictor in 25 years of grading that was anywhere near as strong as this one," he said. "If you just graded them based on length without ever reading them, you'd be right over 90 percent of the time." The shortest essays, typically 100 words, got the lowest grade of one. The longest, about 400 words, got the top grade of six. In between, there was virtually a direct match between length and grade.
I'd give your work a "2."
2 out of 6 :( That's bad. Actually I think you're right and the article was quite informative and interesting thanks! So the key to score high essays is to write long and to write a lot of facts no matter if they are wrong.
Well, it depends on the criteria for grading! If you are trying to write in English without errors, you are doing well. There are errors, but we all have errors.
Little improvements can be made:
But this time this sensation taught her that, without love, a person is completely emotionless and that having someone you can trust and share your experiences with means a lot.
It is good to go give other people your ideas about their essays and then link them to this page and ask for their help!
