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Most people use a private transport to enjoy their vacation in New Zealand


ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 12, 2016   #1
IELTS writing Task 1 - International Visitors to New Zealand: transport used during visit

The provided bar chart show what transport chosen by visitors while visit New Zealand. The highest level of visitors use car. the second choices are plane and coach and others go by train and both.

Just under 70 per cent of the foreign visitors use car to enjoy their vacation in New Zealand. However, there are the same rate for visitor who use plane and coach, more than 30 per cent for each. While 20 per cent visitors use train in New Zealand and just under 10 per cent visitors use boat for their holiday transport.

Tn the conclusion, most people use a private transport to enjoy their vacation while others who are accounted for more 80 per cent choose public transport like plane, coach, train and boat.
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 13, 2016   #2
Hi Eka..
I apologize for you since I can give you a large number of comments. You should attach the picture. However, I will try to dissect your wiritng grammatically.


The provided bar chart showS what transportS chosen by visitors while to visit New Zealand. OVERALL, IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT The highest level of visitors IS use OF carS. ON THE OTHER HAND, the second choices are plane ...

However, there are the same rateS for the visitors who use ...

Note: You need to improve your writing greatly. I have found plenty of grammar mistakes. First of all, you should get the point that each sentence only has the main verb. You sometimes forgot to place the verb in the sentence. Following that, you should harness conjunction suitably. On the one hand, your flow is not good. I think you have to locate transitive words appropriately.

I really believe that you have the competence in English. You acquire to practice more and more...
I have been waiting your writing the next meeting in this website..
Happy writing...
OP ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 13, 2016   #3
hallo Akbar,
thank you for your suggestions.

i intended to give the image, but there was a problem.

well, here is the chart



molly16 9 / 10  
Aug 13, 2016   #4
Hi,

here are my introduction for u :

- The provided bar chart show what transport ...

A breakdown of the proportion of transportation modes during the international attendance in New Zealand is illustrated in the bar chart and measured in percentage. While the number of car break a record as the highest percentage, using boat as air transport seems unpopular.


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