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Most people have been used to use those electronic gadgets to get in touch with their friends. Task2


scoutrabbit 1 / -  
Jun 12, 2016   #1
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Most people have been used to use those electronic gadgets to get in touch with their friends; family and even colleagues and clients in modern life. Some are of the opinion that the Internet has been vital to make people contact more easily. Moreover, it might be said that technology makes life full of innovation and improve administer process. However, technology makes people have no real interaction.

The internet are much popular that there are barely people use it than before. It is clear to see that more and more people have smart phones or tablets, which help them make connections to the world if there is the Internet or wi-fi. For example, when people travel abroad, they can use Facebook to share photos, experiences even videos, use map app to check locations of restaurant or museums, use weather app to make sure the future temperature and so on. In addition, there are various innovation based on new technology. For instance, people texted messages before, but now people message to others through voice even face-time. Furthermore, technology upgrades government system as well. Nowadays, people can apply for kinds of documents online, students can reserve book through e-library, visitors can book hotels via website and so on. Nevertheless, technology makes people lose real interaction.

Since people can easily get in touch through smart phones or other gadgets, the relationship among people don't get as real as before. For example, people nowadays write emails instead of letters, people prefer using emoji via social platform to calling with laugh.

What technology bring modern life in more positive, innovative and efficient. However, having a good interactive relationship with others is of great importance as well.
Hiddengrace 6 / 118 68  
Jun 12, 2016   #2
Hi Scout Rabbit! I think your essay here is really focusing more on the kinds of improvements that have been made and the things you can do with modern technology. However, I'm not sure that is what the question is asking. You say that technology causes relationships with "no real interaction." I think this is what you need to be focusing more on in this essay. Explain how the relationships and interactions aren't as real. Is it because of a lack of face to face interaction? Or a prevalence of surface interactions with no deeper meaning behind them? Or because technology makes it so easy, there's no need to make an effort or truly care?

Why is this? Why is this negative? These are the types of things you should be explaining, not the evolution of technology.

You do have some errors in wording, punctuation, grammar, etc... as well.
Putuariska 2 / 3  
Jun 21, 2016   #3
Hi scoutrabbit, I think you should organize your writting more systematic and more focus with the question. Oh ya, I will give you some suggestion about the grammar. I hope my advices will help you :D

Most people have been used to use those electronic gadgetsmost people use many kind of electronic gadgets

Some are of the opinion that the Internet has been ...people said that the internet makes their communication become easier

The internet are much popular that there ...the internet become much more popular since there are no barely to use it

Thank you!!
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 21, 2016   #4
HI Chen, as I read your essay, I must say that you are able to answer the prompt, you manage to showcase the importance of the electronic gadgets you mentioned in the essay, also you made sure to incorporate disadvantages of this technology and its effects on our daily life.

Please find additional corrections below;

- Most people have beenare used
- to use thoseusing electronic gadgets
- their friends;, family
- and even colleagues and clients in modern life .- this part of the sentences is not necessary as we have established the age of this essay which is the technologically advanced era of modern days

- been a vital
- tool to make
- people contact peoplemore easily. - Moreover, it might be said that technology makes life full of innovation and improve administer process.- I'm not sure what you really mean by this sentence but I believe this is what you mean - Moreover, technology provides us innovative solutions to better our daily lives.

- makes people have no real interactiondependent on machines and in the end they forget about human interaction .

There you have it Chen, I hope my insights help and also, mind the right punctuation mark that you include in your essay.


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