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Nowadays people are valued by their social rank or materialistic activity - IELTS essay


bang 2 / 2 1  
Nov 26, 2014   #1
A persons worth nowadays seems to be judge accroding to social stutus and material possessions. Old fashioned value such as honour, kindness and trust no longer seem important. Agree or disagree (IELTS writing task 2)

Nowadays people are valued by their social rank or materialistic activity. At present personal positive senses such as respect. kind heart, belief are now backward or unprofessional attitude in modern society. Some people like me still believe in mans for inner quality.

On one hand it would be wrong if social status and material possessions are fully be ignored. Social rank should be maintained for social stability for example teacher should be respected by students, parents should be obeyed by kids. Further point is that material possessions could be indicator of financial solvency not materialism craziness. If anyone has ability to buy big posh house and latest car they can have it but it should not be like that to maintain one's status, mad to buy any electric gazettes or latest car instead or debt or corruption.

On the other hand, their are some quite plausible reasons why people should be adored by their valued inner quality no matter where or when it is. The most vital point for this regard is morality is the main fundamental factor to sustain our society according to history. If society forget to practice individual positive quality then it would be full with fight, blood , terrorism etc. Society will be imbalance only muscle power will win. Responsibility, respect teach how to survive as team not alone. What's more People should be evaluated by their education and positive characteristics . Educated and well character people able to prosper our society by their knowledge and research technology and lead the society to sustainability.

In a nutshell taking all the aforementioned points into account I personally opine that persons worth might be judge by their humanitarian quality not by their materialism.

Modewap 16 / 70 13  
Nov 26, 2014   #2
Monowara, I believe there are grammar error to be fix but let me help with my general view. According to vangiespen ;) an average paragraph should have aleast 50words. Your introduction and conclusive paragraphs are too short, I feel you should add more words to them, before grammar error checking to avoid further review.

Overall your ideas are good.
LFAle 3 / 5  
Dec 2, 2014   #3
I think that sometimes you used improper term for academic language.
Secondly I agree with "Modewap" about paragraph organization and overall I think that the argument was not "is it right to judge people according to social status and material possessions" etc. but rather, "do you agree or disagree that nowadays people seems to be judge according to social status etc. etc.? " .

Task achievement is as important as grammar mistakes in Ielts
rhino 3 / 4  
Dec 5, 2014   #4
perhaps, you should hide several words such as

etc

and

What's

there are inappropriate for academic writing.


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