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TOEFL - people are way more disparate at the exterior contrary to what they are inside


shreyansh13 3 / 4 1  
Jul 28, 2014   #1
People are often classified into different categories such as smart, beautiful, handsome, gorgeous and many more but what these classifications fail to remark in a person is his/her character. Its the behavior of a person that describes him not his looks. Judging a person on his external looks would be similar to looking at a flower in night. You would not get any idea about it until it blossoms; similarly, a person should be reckoned by his doings. It is the actions of a person that defines him. One should not be characterized from a glimpse of an eye. When you see someone; it is their visual representation that you perceive, but deep down within there could be a different reality.

In an personal encounter I experienced how a superficial glance can change a person's attitude towards someone. Once a beggar with a broken leg asked me for money and being kind-hearted I offered him the change I had. But later I saw the same person coming out from a liquor store walking on his 2 legs perfectly. The view had me startled and made me realize that now not in any way I would be able to trust anyone; even if he/she is a righteous person.

In the end I would like to conclude that people are way more disparate at the exterior contrary to what they are inside. So before making a decision on a person from his external appearance try to look what he is really within. A person looking neatly dressed could be a murderer whereas a person dripping red fluid could be a painter. It is one's own accomplishments that should be considered in defining him as it is the most essential thing that elucidate a personage
Hiruni 3 / 14 3  
Jul 31, 2014   #2
Nicely narrated, i like your essay. :)
however i would like to point out some grammar errors.

" ItsIt's the behavior of a person that describes him , not his looks. "

" In ana personal encounter I experienced "

" Once a beggar with a broken leg asked me for money and being kind-hearted , I offered him the change I had."
DearbhailS 6 / 10 2  
Jul 31, 2014   #3
I think if you can write two examples, this essay can be better. Because this essay does not conclud enough details to support your view.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Aug 24, 2014   #4
I think you need to pay more attention to the approach. Your essay does not contain a good introduction which introduces the topic to the reader and express your view on the issue.

This task is a time bound task and therefore you should aim for a good score while being able to complete the task. Introduce the topic in the intro and then state your view. In the body paragraphs give reasons to justify your opinion and support them with specific examples. Finally have a conclusion to make a final statement on your opinion. I think you better redo this essay all over again.


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