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People's way of living has been drastically changed, to recent advancements of technology


mth0911 1 / -  
Oct 18, 2021   #1
Topic:

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?



People's way of living has been drastically changed, thanks to recent advancements of technology. This development also heavily affects what children nowadays spend their leisure time on. Despite some obvious benefits, this change, from my perspective, brings more harm than good to children's growth.

On the one hand, new technologies encourage children to explore the world within their house using interactive apps or programs, which visualize different scenarios, provide practical information and create online space for cross-nation connection. It is far easier than ever for them to spend their free time learning skills or reading books online. With the rise of social media, children have countless opportunities to connect and make friends with people across the globe, leading to a more joined-up world for future generations, especially in the context of global pandemic.

On the other hand, the more virtually connected children are, the more disconnected they get in reality. It is common to see a child gluing their eyes to the screen for long hours and become victims of addictive technologies. While relationships are believed to be best nurtured with face-to-face interactions, the majority of today's children spend more time in the cyber world. The addiction to technology is also closely associated with sedentary lifestyles and various health problems, namely eye-strain, headache or more severe issues like anti-social behaviour and depression. More recently, following the Covid-19 breakout, children practice school online, adding up to an average of 8 hours facing the screen a day, which makes the problem even worse.

In conclusion, the mentioned advantages are not as significant as their disadvantages. It is more advisable for children to spend their leisure time being outdoors and sharing great memories with their loved ones. Technology is for people by people.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,672 4113  
Oct 19, 2021   #2
more harm than good

The response is unrelated to the task. The focus is on

DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

not harm or good. The created response is a topic alteration that will result in a failed accuracy score. Synonym usage was improper in this case. The writer chose to use incorrect alternative words. The essay now starts with a failing Task score.

The second paragraph does not disprove the opposing point of view as it should be doing. The writer himself fails to strongly support his own opinion. By using this equal discussion presentation, the essay fails to meet the "outweigh' requirement of the prompt. Only one side of the discussion should be highlighted. That should be related to the properly given . of the writer. This is a failing score essay.


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