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"Soon people who cannot work with computers will be disadvantaged" ESSAY


m00ny 2 / 20  
Feb 3, 2011   #1
Full title: Soon people who cannot work with computers will be disadvantaged. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Computers are indispensable part of modern life. Not only they play essential role in workplaces around the world, also the Internet, biggest invention since font, is directly connected to them. One who does not possess basic skills to use computer, is at modern workplace only redundant worker.

To begin with, almost 107 million units of computer were sold last year in Asia-Pacific region. This number clearly presents the demand buyers have. Bus stations, restaurants, groceries, ZOOs, even Alpine huts, they all have various forms of computer. Computerizing has already stepped over the brink to where one could decline it.

Furthermore, E-tax, social networks, up-to-date news, live broadcast, they are all part of our social interactions. To access those medias, you have to have a computer. Next, many traditional processes are being replaced (or updated) by computer. For example, buying a plane ticket, changing your primary address, paying bills, even entering for an examination is now done solely with computer.

Obviously, when applying for a job in office, you ought to have basic computer skills. Secretaries are entailed to handle harder tasks, such as using printer or various office applications.

To sum up, one who does not possess basic skills for using computer is disadvantaged. No matter the occurrence, with technology nowadays, sooner or later an occasion will appear that will require some knowledge of computers.

// Sorry for breaking the lines, but anyone knows how to make "modern style" lines??

Please give me your opinion, comments, whatever you have on your mind. I'm taking IELTS exam, this is considered to be writing practice.

words - / 5  
Feb 3, 2011   #2
Very good ideas, but you had a few grammar and wording errors. Below is your essay, but with a few ideas inputed.

Computers are an essential component of modern life. They not only play integral roles in workplaces around the world, but also connect users to the Internet. In a modern workplace, a worker is at a severe disadvantage if he does not possess the skills to use a computer.

To begin with, the computers are in great demand; almost 107 million computers were sold last year in the Asia-Pacific region. Bus stations, restaurants, groceries, zoos, even alpine huts: they all have various forms of computer. Computerizing has become such a vital part of everyone's lives that for one to refuse to learn how to use a computer is impossible.

Furthermore, E-tax, social networks, up-to-date news, and live broadcast are all parts of our social interactions. To access those medias, one has to have a computer. Many traditional processes are being replaced (or updated) by the computer. For example, buying a plane ticket, changing your primary address, paying bills, or even applying for an examination, are now done most always on the computer.

When applying for a job in an office, one ought to have basic computer skills. Secretaries are required to have the knowledge to handle harder tasks, such as using a printer or various software applications.

In conclusion, one who does not possess basic skills for using computer is disadvantaged. No matter the occurrence, with technology nowadays, sooner or later an occasion will appear that will require some knowledge of computers.
EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Feb 10, 2011   #3
// Sorry for breaking the lines, but anyone knows how to make "modern style" lines??

What do you mean? Indenting, like with the tab button?

Hey, thanks, William, for being a hero.

In addition to those edits, I'll mention that I think you can add a new dimension to this if you consider the opposite idea. How about adding a paragraph where you talk about the way people actually can have good lives without using computers. All they need is a system for satisfying their needs. So, even though your argument is right, it is also true that someone can be happy without understanding computers. :-)
OP m00ny 2 / 20  
Feb 11, 2011   #4
@words:
Thank you very, very much. Your essay does sounds better and some words make more logic =)

@EF Susan:
Yea, the thing with TAB. How you do that here? I tried (almost) everything ..
Chim Can Cook 10 / 23  
Feb 11, 2011   #5
I think you nees more elaboration and examples to explain more clearly about your points


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