rate my essay and point out my mistakes
Work is important part of everyone's life. By doing work we earn money and fulfil all the desires and dreams of our life. Money is reward of the work we do. Nevertheless, there are myriad factors besides money, which foster us to do work. some people think," work is worship", others consider work as source of honour, fame, respect, enjoyment, or satisfaction.
Firstly, many people opt for work they enjoy. Writer writes article, novels, poems etc and use their communication skills to convey their thoughts. Painters make use of colours, creativity and extraordinary imagination to represent thing that lure others eyeball. Musicians give internal peace and calmness to others by their mellifluent voice. They do that work since they enjoy that work. As an old saying goes, "some people eat to work, some work to eat".
In the second place, people work for pride, honour, dignity. Those who join defence forces like army, air force etc protects the nation and ready to die for the sake of nation. Safety of the citizens of their country is paramount for them. The feel pride in serving their nation.
Besides that, work is the only tool that that can make someone famous. Every work is equal but still some professions are highly respected like doctors, engineers etc. Thus, social stigmas in the society plays role when people choose their field.
To sum up, There is never ending list following in addition to what is enumerated above, like additional incentives, duty etc. But in my views i would prioritize pride, honour, fame, respect, enjoyment as the prime factors that makes us to do work.
Hello,
please see my edits below.
Work isan important part of everyone's life.
They feel pride in serving their nation.
Besides that, work is the only tool that that can make someone famous. No it is not. Kim Kardashian is famous because of her dad. Not because of work. Do not use absolutes in an essay. There is almost always an exception.
Every work is equal but still some professions are highly respected like doctors, engineers etc. Thus, social stigmas in the society plays role when people choose their field. Are you talking about fame or social status? they are both good points, but different. If you want to keep both, expand a little on this point and the last point
I hope these edits helped. Be careful with fame and social status. They are two different things.
Also, watch out for grammar. Just take your time and be careful about it.
Overall, this was a very interesting read. You did well organising your thoughts.
