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IELTS Writing task 1: Percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet


smogito 4 / 7  
Jul 9, 2012   #1
The graph shows the evolution of the percentage of adolescents who live on a vegetarian diet in UK.

From 1960 the percentage of teenagers following this kind of nourishment increased gradually until 1980 when it preaked at 16 %. Between 1980 and 1990 it decreased to the half, followed by a brief rose to 9% around 1992. Then, the amount of adolescents who didn't ate meat dipped in 1997 when it reached a minimum of 4 %. After fluctuating during 2 years, the percentage of vegetarian teenagers has been rising steadly to 10% in 2010. Since then, the porcentage has levelled off, and is expected to increase modestly at the end of the decade of 2010's.

We can observe how the interest in vegetarianism has suffered ups and downs since the beginning of this diet leaning in 1960. It seems there is a upward trend in the future.




ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jul 9, 2012   #2
Hi,
the essay contains 148 words, while u should write at least 150 words. However, I think the essay is good and the low number of the words can be attributed to this fact that the graph reveals few data. In a real test, it is given more than just one line-graph and in the most of the times u should write about two or even three different graphs, pie-charts, table or a mixture of them. Well done.

U should add two main points to the introduction. 1) time: you should write that the data have been collected over which years. 2) General trend

when it pr eaked at 16 %.

;

when it reached a minimum of 4 %

Use different ways for reporting data. For example u can write: "it reached a peak ...", "it dramatically decreased to xx% in 19xx", "the graph shows a three-fold reduction in the percentage of vegetarian people in 19xx compared to 19xx".

Try to compare the results in the different years. It is not enough to just write about increase or decrease in something. COMPARISON is very very very important in the IELTS writing task one.

.. gradually increased gradually until 1980

didn't ateeat meat dipped

After fluctuating duringover 2 years, during xx to xxx, ...

Which two years? mention it.

Regards
Ahmad


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