Hi,the essay contains 148 words, while u should write at least 150 words. However, I think the essay is good and the low number of the words can be attributed to this fact that the graph reveals few data. In a real test, it is given more than just one line-graph and in the most of the times u should write about two or even three different graphs, pie-charts, table or a mixture of them. Well done.U should add two main points to the introduction. 1) time: you should write that the data have been collected over which years. 2) General trend
when it p
r eaked at 16 %.
when it reached a minimum of 4 %
Use different ways for reporting data. For example u can write: "it reached a peak ...", "it dramatically decreased to xx% in 19xx", "the graph shows a three-fold reduction in the percentage of vegetarian people in 19xx compared to 19xx".Try to compare the results in the different years. It is not enough to just write about increase or decrease in something. COMPARISON is very very very important in the IELTS writing task one.
duringover 2 years, during xx to xxx, ...
Which two years? mention it.