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TASK I : the percentage of the employment by occupation


Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Oct 7, 2015   #1
The bar chart describes the percentage of the employment by occupation, categorized by a wide range of occupations and genders in 2005 in the United Kindom. Overall, predominantly of all works are dominated by men. In any case, while the men had the higher proportion in skilled trades than women, the females were more likely to work in administrative and secretarial field than males.

Regard to man, it is clear that the domination of the men for various works was more than women. Futhermore, they tended to choose active of field jobs. Furthermore, the highest figure of skilled trades, at 20 percents, showed the superiority of men in company women, approximately 2%.

On the other hand, the women witnessed that they preferred the jobs related by services and administrative. Standing at 22%, administrative and secretarial became the popular job which they choose. In addition, there was a job showing the same interested between male and female, labourers and catering and assistants, by proportion relatively similar approximately 12 percent.




vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 7, 2015   #2
Aditya, your report overview is really improving. The clarity of thought cannot be mistaken and your understanding fo the chart is quite evident. Due to the longer overview, the report becomes more interesting to read. In fact, the only thing missing in the overview are the digits. However, you are right to hold on to the chart results for the succeeding paragraphs. Good work. Now, let's address the corrections :-) Don't get me wrong, your grammar is improving. SO it is important that you have guidance and examples to follow at this point of your practice and review.

The bar chart describes the percentage of the employment by occupation

In any case, while WHILE the men

administrative and secretarial fieldS than males. - When you mention 2 places, it takes plural form

Regard to man, WITH REGARDS TO MEN, it

they tended to choose active of field jobs.

at 20 percents

showed the superiority of men in THE company OF women, approximately 2%.

the women witnessed that they preferred the jobs related by TO services and administrative ADMINISTRATION

administrative and secretarial OCCUPATIONS became the popular job which they choose.

the same interested

labourers and catering and assistants, by proportion WERE relatively similar AT approximately 12 percent.
OP Abraham22 20 / 11 15  
Oct 7, 2015   #3
Tx sir. I do my best

The bar chart describes the percentage of the employment by occupation, categorized by a wide range of occupations and genders in 2005 in the United Kindom. Overall, predominantly of all works are dominated by men. In any case, while the men had the higher proportion in skilled trades than women, the females were more likely to work in administrative and secretarial fields than males.

with regards to men, it is clear that the domination of the men for various works was more than women. Besides, they tended to choose active field jobs. Furthermore, the highest figure of skilled trades, at 20 percent, showed the superiority of men in the company of women, approximately 2%.

On the other hand, the women preferred the jobs related to services and administration. Standing at 22%, administrative and secretarial occupations became the popular job which they choose. In addition, there was a job showing the same interest between male and female, labourers and catering and assistants, by proportion were relatively similar at approximately 12 percent.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 7, 2015   #4
Aditya, I have just a few more corrections for the essay for you to remember :-)

The bar chart describes the percentage of the employment by occupation
-There are times when connector words are not necessary. You should slowly learn to identify when it is and when it is not needed in a sentence.

Overall, predominantly of all works are dominated by men men dominate the workplace.

with regards to men , it is clear that the domination of the men for various works was more than women
- It is clear that men dominated the workplace more than women.

the company of women who rated approximately 2%.

In addition, there was a job showing the same interest between male and female, labourers and catering and assistants, by proportion were relatively similar at approximately 12 percent.

- This sentence can be better written for clarity:
- In addition, men and women showed a similar proportion of 12 % interest in certain jobs, such as labor, catering, and assistance.

Remember, thought clarity should come out in your explanations. Always proofread and edit yourself before submission. If you think a sentence is not clear as you have written it, then go ahead and revise the sentence just in case :-)


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