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Writing task 1: the percentage of male and female teachers in 6 types of educational setting (2010)


noname268 1 / -  
Jun 21, 2021   #1

the bar chart analysis



The bar chart indicates the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.It shows what percentage of teachers were male and what percentage were female.

As we can see, at schools for children, the percentage of teachers were female - dominated. This was particularly true of pre - school and primary school. Whilst the percentage of male teachers in pre - school was under 5 per cent , that of female teachers was over 95 per cent. The same situation happened in primary school, where over 90 per cent of teachers were woman.

Men and woman were more equally represented in teaching institutions for older children and young adults.For instance, the percentage of male lecturers and that of female lecturers were both 50 per cent in College.

Men predominated in higher - level institutions. This was especially true for Universities , where males were twice as many as females.
In short,women were more likely to hold the role of teaching young children .Whilst men tended to teach in higher - level institutions,especially Universities.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,263 3976  
Jun 22, 2021   #2
In the summary, there is a mention of etypes but without proper listing of the 6 in relation to context. In relation to the content of the summary, the trending statement should come earlier in the paper since it makes an analytical summary of the data. It is misplaced at the end of the presentation.

That is not to say that one cannot present the trend at the very end. It may be done.However, for better scoring purposes, the writer must learn to identify when and where to properly place the said trend.

The paragraphs do not contain the s number of sentences per presentation. In academic writing, a paragraph needs at least 3 sentences. For this test, the standard is 3-5 sentences. Each paragraph written here only presents data but does not contain an acceptable analysis ofinformation due to lack of paragraph development. An additional sentence per paragraph would have fired that.

By the way, a single image reference needs only a 3 paragraph presentation. 4 paragraphs best apply to 2 image comparisons.
HelenN 5 / 10 3  
Jun 22, 2021   #3
@noname268
The bar chart indicates ... you should paraphrase this sentence, try not to repeat the description It shows what percentage of teachers were male and what percentage were female. (one sentence for the summary is good enough)

As we can see not formal, this can only be used in speaking, at schools for children, ... female - dominated I might say something like "It is clearly seen that most of the kindergarten and elementary teachers were female.

... school was under 5 per cent I think the second paragraph should discuss only the main trend, that means no statistic at this point, that of female ...

... and young adults.For instance formatting, the percentage of male lecturers you can use instructors or professors and that of female ...
Sally_Dao 2 / 4 1  
Jun 23, 2021   #4
It shows what percentage of teachers were male and what percentage were female. (You don't need to write this line, it's like you're repeating the same idea as the first sentence. Instead, you should write an overview for the graph)

I think you should divide this writing into 3 graphs only because it quite hard to follow your ideas
1. Introduction + Overview
2. Figures where women dominate men
3. Figures where men dominate womaen


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