The percentage of people who are sixty five and older in the USA, Sweden, and Japan

Population aged 65 and over

The line graph gives information about the percentage of people who are 65 and older in the USA, Sweden, and Japan from the year 1940 to 2040.

In all three countries, senior citizens aged 65 and over will take up a much greater proportion of the population in 2040 than they did in 1940. Obviously, the US had the highest proportion of aged population among all three nations in 1940 and Japan had the lowest; however, they are predicted to switch positions by 2040.

In 1940, the whole population in the US and Sweden consisted of approximately 9% and 7% of people who were at 65 and over respectively, and there was a gradual rise in the percentage of aged population in both countries in the following decades. Entering the early 1990s, the percentage of the elderly population in Sweden surpassed that in the US, and it is projected that around a quarter of the Swedes will be older than 65 in 2040, and so will be 23% of the Americans.

In terms of the Japanese population, only one in twenty were at 65 and over in 1940, and this continued to drop and bottomed at roughly 3% between 1960 and 1990. Since then, the proportion started to rebound and is expected to double by 2030. Thereafter, the Japanese aged population will rocket, pass the US and Sweden, and reach approximately 27% in 2040.

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Your essay is lacking in pauses. Those are sections where an end of the sentence is placed, allowing the reader to pause and understand the sentence before the introduction of a new but seperate idea. These is usually represented by a period which is then followed by a transition word, phrase, or sentence before the next information is presented. The presentation is therefore, long but difficult to follow. Idea presentations are difficult to relate within the discussions. You have to learn to write in a simple, quick, but easy to track manner. The prompt instructions lend itself to a 3 rather than 4 paragraph discussion format. Always look to the prompt for discussion paragraph numbering. Forcing a 4 paragraph presentation in a 3 paragraph essay will always lead to a lower c&c score for your presentation. Majority of the Task 1 prompts are only 3 paragraph presentations.

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