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IELTS 1: The percentage of teachers recruitment by year of graduation in Ontario


aflah15 32 / 18 4  
Jan 20, 2016   #1
The line graph provides information about selection of English and French teachers in Ontario according to the graduation year from 2001 to 2007, a six-year period and measured in percentage. Overall, it can be seen that a gap between two different teacher's groups had narrowed down in 2001, whereas it showed the large difference in the end of period.

Students who graduated in 2001 and taught English had the similar number with France teachers, at about 70%. Over the next three years, there was a significant drop in the total of English teachers, at approximately a half of the previous proportion. On the other hand,, the first-year French teachers witnessed a fluctuation, at over 50% and below 70% respectively. 2003 to 2005 saw a slight increase, by 3% for both French and English teachers.

In 2007, students who became French teachers reached a peak at 75%, even though the number decreased considerably at over two-thirds in 2006. On the other hand, just a few of the students who were chosen as English teachers in the end of time frame since there was a sharp fall over two years, at 28%.



swara86 2 / 10  
Jan 20, 2016   #2
In 2007, students who became French teachers reached ...
2006 witnessed a steady decrease, then peaked a high of approximately 75% for the last year
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 24, 2016   #3
you have a very good grasp of the chart information. You were able to properly depict the information in the essay report. Your sentence structure is not too complicated, but not too simple either. let's say that you have a moderately advanced use of the English language. This is what led to your stronger essay report. The confidence in your writing is evident.

... about THE selection of English and French teachers ... the THEIR graduation year from 2001 to 2007, COVERING a six-year period ... groups had narrowed down in 2001, whereas it showed the A large difference in AT the end of THE period.

... English had the A similar number with THE France... at approximately a half of the previous proportion.... French teachers witnessed SHOWED a fluctuation, at over 50% and BUT below 70% ...

... reached a peak at OF 75%, ... chosen as English teachers in AT the end of THE time frame since...
ilankelo21 36 / 41 22  
Jan 24, 2016   #4
Hi Afla good Job...
If you do not mind I am going to give an an alternative introduction form.
Here is in this following sentence.

A BREAKDOWN OF PERCENTAGE OF RECRUITMENT OF BOTH ENGLISH AND FRENCH TEACHERS BASED ON GRADUATION YEAR BETWEEN 2001 AND 2007, A SIX-YEAR PERIOD IN ONTARIO, IS PRESENTED IN THE LINE GRAPH. OVERALL, THOUGH THE FIGURE SHOWED A NARROW-DOWN TREND IN THE FIRST YEAR, A LARGE DIFFERENCE WAS WITNESSED IN THE END OF THE PERIOD.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Feb 5, 2016   #5
Students who graduated in 2001 and taught [...] for both French and English teachers.
Initially, teachers of both languages had approximately a 70% success rate in finding jobs. As per the data, French teachers were more successful than the English ones. The recruitment for French teachers fell by approximately 50%, but then rebounded gradually to virtually 70% in the following year. This is in a stark contrast to the figure for English teachers decreasing significantly from above 70% to 40% between 2001 and 2003, a decline of about 30% in 2 years .

Good. But, you need to discuss the differences presented in the graph. I have made a slight change. Please consider it


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