Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS Writing Task 1: The percentage of water consumption for some goals in four continents

phong3baotap 7 / 19 4  
Apr 29, 2020   #1

the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas

The diagrams give information about the percentage of water consumption for some goals in four continent.
The agricultural purpose for which water is used around the world accounts for the largest proportion of the total amount consumed, those figures are higher 80% in Asia, Africa and 70% in South America. Whilst the number for Industrial is higher in North America and Europe as standing at 48% and 53% respectively.

In contrast, the percentage of domestic use is the smallest in North America, Europe and South East Asia as stand at 13%, 15% and 17% respectively. The industrial sector also in the same situation as it required the least amount of water in Africa, Central Asia and South America, specifically the figures of that is 7%, 5% and 10% respectively.

Step into the analysis, we can realise that in two continent around the North Atlantic people consume too much water for industrial objective while in the other mainlands this need is only a minority. The other disparity can be seen on that for the farming segment as it varies from one-third in "old continent", through almost half and two-third in the land in Earth's western hemisphere, and to around four-fifths in the oriental and the hottest area. The smallest difference belonging to internal consumption goal as the modest figures are less than one-fifth in all-region.

(224 words)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,013 4242  
Apr 29, 2020   #2
The images are not diagrams, these are pie charts. Your image identification is incorrect. Wrong image descriptions can affect your TA score as the accuracy of your report becomes suspect. Complete your summary overview with the required information:

- Countries (not provided)
- Type of water usage (not provided)
- measurement type (provided)
- Trending statement (provided)

You have to give a proper summary of the provided information otherwise, the reader will not be able to easily follow your discussion. The summary overview should help you outline what type of information you will present per paragraph. The trending statement should be 2 fold in this instance, the highest and lowest points of the pie chart measurement would have provided a clear direction for the measurements provided.

Your essay cannot be completed in 20 minutes. You can only write between 175-190 words. The number of words provided in this essay means you will cut into your Task 2 writing time. Be conscious of your time allotment. Use a timer when practicing. That will give you an accurate idea of how many words you can write. Always do that to make sure you never cut into the Task 2 writing time. It will help the word count become second nature to you towards exam day.

Do not offer a data analysis. You are not allowed an opinion in a Task 1 essay. Just report and summarize the information as instructed in the prompt. You are deviating from the original instruction, which will result in a lower TA score because the format for writing was not properly applied. That is the main reason why you wrote too many words. Analysis is only used in the Task 2 essay. Comparison points are not the same as an analysis. The comparison discussion could have actually been just one sentence, combined into the trending statement.
OP phong3baotap 7 / 19 4  
May 4, 2020   #3
Thank for your advice!

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: The percentage of water consumption for some goals in four continents