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IELTS Writing Task 1 - Percentages of people living in the towns and cities in 4 different countries

zenosyne719 1 / -  
May 31, 2021   #1

urban population numbers

The line graph provided illustrates the total percentage of the population living in urban areas in four countries between 1970 and 2030.

Over the period shown, it is clear that three countries had an increasing trend in population living in cities and towns except for India, which had a temporary fall between 1990 and 2010. South Korea had experienced the fastest growth in urbanisation, and the USA remained stable in the past sixty years.

In 1997, the proportion of people living in urban areas in China was about 20%, and the data of India was close with China. The figure for the USA and South Korea were higher, at about 65% and 40% respectively. Between 1990 to 2010, the graph of China had surpassed that of India, with a rising trend in China and a declining trend of India.

From 2010, South Korea had narrowed down their gap with the USA, both were just under 80%. It was also in 2010 that China had a marked increase from around 22% to nearly 40%.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,933 3567  
Jun 1, 2021   #2
You need to provide summary overviews that complete the information for the leader. That means, a summary can only be considered complete When enumerated information is included in the presentation. Im this case, prior to using the country names in the trending statement, these must be enumerated as the representative countries first. A summary overview must always be composed of 3-5 sentences. A single , compressed informatiosummary will force U you to commit unintentional GRA and TA errors.

data of India was close with China.

How so? You did not explain the graph information that represents this idea. This needs a comparison sentence based on the aligned graph measurement.

the graph of China had surpassed that of India

Again with the s explanations. you are risking a big C + C deduction since you have omitted the explanation twice in the same presentation. Remember, the writing instruction is, make comparisons where relevant. You are not doing a good job at that.
ho chu diem my 1 / 1  
Jun 2, 2021   #3
I think in the overview of a writing essay, you don't need to provide the satistics in detail. You should move them into detail 1 and detail 2. Instead of this, in the overview, u should give a summary like a outline that descibes some stand out trends.
winxangle 1 / 2  
Jun 4, 2021   #4
Should be" Between 1990 and 2010"
Jun 5, 2021   #5
You should show the name of four countries " in four countries including USA, South Korea, India and China" to make the sentence clearer.
In detail 2, you should show the upward or downward trend or fluctuation in the percentage of residents living in India.
"The figure for the USA and ...", you should replace "the figure" with "the figures"

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