A permanent job and work under same company for the whole life

IT IS UNREALISTIC TO WORK FOR ONLY ONE COMPANY FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE => AGREE OR DISAGREE

doing the same job permanently

Job decision is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives. Some people wish to have a permanent job and work under same company for their whole lives. Others just love to experience different positions in different places because they are fond of changes. Although I believe that changing job is an interesting idea, working for only one company year years is certainly not unrealistic.

Firstly, it would be more secured if you do not change your job often. Nowadays, thousands of people lose their jobs or cannot find one. If you give up your current job without having got accepted to work for another company, you would probably bear the risk of being unemployed. In case that you have successful applied for a new job, it is still not certain that you could work well and adapt to the new environment. Therefore, lots of people are working under only one company in their lives because it is a safe option.

Secondly, a number of companies adapt the seniority system, which means that they have special treatment for long term employees. For example, a higher rate of pension, higher salary or promotion every few years... In general, you will be given more advantages if you have more time working for the company. This type of reward is widely used in Asian countries, such as Japan, Korea. In Japan, people do not have the tendency to work for different companies because it is hard to find a job, and the benefit of seniority system is really significant.

To look at the problem with a different perspective, one of the greatest disadvantages of working permanently in the same company is definitely boredom. After all, all decision is a trade-off. If you are looking for a long-term job, boredom is inevitable. If you always seek for opportunities to learn different things, do not hesitate to change.

Kim, when you write the opening statement, there will be a strong urge to begin discussing the facts of the essay immediately. Fight off that urge. Instead, use the opening statement for the purpose it was created, to prove your English comprehension skills. Just tell the reader what you understand of the original discussion instructions. That is the basis of the TA score and as such, is the most important scoring consideration for your test. Do not begin to present information not in the original prompt as those should be located in the body instead. This error on your part lowered your overall score consuderably. Most specially since you didn't close the statement with a proper agreement or disagreement of the original prompt. That prompt deviation, since you created your own discussion topic could have automatically failed your essay. However, since your line of reasoning still feel under the required discussion, you will most likely score a 4 because of the minimal task response and lack of a proper concluding statement.

1) Your introduction contains too many details that are not really necessary. Just paraphrase the topic and give your opinion.

2) Although I believe that changing job is an interesting idea, working for only one company year years is certainly not unrealistic. => state directly your thought, do not you 'not unrealistic'. It is oblique and easily causes misunderstanding.

3) Check your usage of conditional sentence and adverb.

4) For example, a higher rate of pension, higher salary or promotion every few years... => attach examples to the previous sentence since this sentence is not complete.

5) This type of reward is widely used in Asian countries, such as Japan, Korea => abundant information. You are supposed to discuss your idea further, not give subordinate details.

6) Inappropriate conclusion. It is a must to paraphrase the topic again and restate your argument.

7) Do not use 'firstly', 'secondly' in your essay.

8) However, your view is clear and great in this work. Just need to practice more in terms of structures.