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Every person is different. The happiness depends on people's own.


ReskiRamadani88 43 / 57 5  
Nov 8, 2016   #1
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

One thing that most important in life of people is happiness. Happiness can find everywhere and whenever we are. It depends on people's own. Some people argue that happiness is difficult to define. And I think it is true. Besides, there are some factors which make happiness, because of the level of person's happiness different from each other.

Happiness is difficult to define because of the view every person is different. Every people have had the level of happiness, which important for their life. Happiness brings positive effect for career, environment, or social life of people. Some people say, happiness depends on wealth, property, healthy body, happy family or beautiful face or bodies. In the present, happiness has been synonymous with wealth and perfect body or face shape. For example, People in Korea have had plastic surgery to repair their bodies or make their face more perfect than before. This is a common thing at the moment. Korean's people feel happy if get the ideal bodies shape. On the other hand, people are busy to their job to get much money, because they argue, having much money are important for happiness, but there are another factors aside from wealth.

Factors are important in achieving happiness are family, best friends, good relation in social life, environment and always grateful. People who always grateful with their life will get real happiness and will not compare their life than others. Having happy family and best friends are important because they will help to solve every problem and give suggestion and directly bring happiness for life. However, the important things for happiness in daily activities are social life and environment. Having good relation with neighbor or colleagues make people enjoy and always grateful.

All in all, happiness is thing that difficult to explain because it is depend on view everyone and the level of their happiness. Happiness is not just about property or wealth but depend on how are we grateful with anything that we have.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Mar 5, 2017   #2
Reski, this score could get an average score of 5 overall. The score that I assume you could get is based upon the improperly represented paraphrased statement. While the context of your interpretation is sound, you used the word "And" to start a sentence. Since "And" is used as a term to join a group of related words in a sentence, it cannot be used to start a new sentence. The reason behind that is that there are no other words to join at the start of a sentence, therefore the word should not be used in that position in any paragraph. It can only be used in the middle of a sentence. The rest of the essay delivers simple explanations and English sentences that prove your ability to understand and discuss the prompt requirements. However, your grammar accuracy suffered because of the weak sentence development on your part. Hopefully, you will be able to use more proper English grammar and developed sentences to score higher in this aspect with your future essays.
digaprasiska 10 / 27 6  
Mar 5, 2017   #3
Reski ramadani,

You need to present about happiness from some expert regarding only about your opinion. So, in the conclusion you'll not only serve this
All in all, happiness is thing that difficult to explain because it is depend on view everyone and the level of their happiness. Happiness is not just about property or wealth but depend on how are we grateful with anything that we have.

Because it wasn't good enough for an article.

Thank you
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Mar 5, 2017   #4
Hi Reski, you have needed improvement for your writing. I am gonna offer you a few suggestions.
Firstly, pay attention to meaning what you write. Ensure that you write is what you mind. For the second sentence in the first paragraph, I think you want to write the passive sentence. Rereading your sentence is wisely a way to make sure your meaning. Following that, your flow in the first paragraph was not enough good. Readers have not found your points logically. Its problem is because you mentioned cause first, but you have not delivered the linking word appropriately so that it seemed messy.

After that, you need to know the difference for usage of "because and because of". If you placed "because of", you only involve a noun. Actually, you have fallen the problem of verb agreement. Honestly, you have answered the prompt well in the body paragraph. This confused the readers about your reason why you said the happiness is difficult to be defined. Severely, in the last two sentences, you reviewed the topic which doesn't relate to the prompt.

Resky, I suggest you conduct a brainstorming before you begin to write the essay so that you can analyze the question. Practice more and more

happy writing


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