Hey this is my 2nd out of 3rd essay...so can you guys please review/check this and tell me if it sounds good/make sense? The topic was to write about someone who has made a diffrence in ure life, I didnt want to write the traditional mom and dad, so I decided to go and write about Page and his invention...Google :)
Thanks =)
Sometimes the greatest tools and inventions in our world are often over seen as an integration of life rather than a difficult discovery and an original idea. Larry Page, creator of the popular website Google, has redefined the online world. His ideas and innovative work on the cybernetic world has significantly altered and impacted my life, and changed the overall person I have become or would have become.
Any typical "web-geek" has come to appreciate Google, and Page for his creation which connected the entire World Wide Web on a standard 15 inch monitor. Life without Pages ideas, and abiding features would seem almost too tedious to live, and share information. School work has been probably the most impacted aspect of my life Page has affected me with. He unlocked the lock door which allowed me to see multiple view points of history, or a diverse topic, instead of that being dictated through our teaches, or forced through our text books. It has allowed me to understand more efficiently through various sources, from what I could have not interpreted by a single source. Imaging me without Page and his creation would almost be a devastating thought. I could visualize my self being condemned in my darkened home, forced to be fed information my instructor wished to be taught, and sung a solid view from my book, making everyone and anyone of my generation the exact same as each other, the exact same as the next. However because of him, we are exposed to a plethora of ideas, and allows me to conform to my own individuality, to create my own ideas and thoughts. Page has influenced me greatly by giving my life uniqueness, and a change from other people, as well an opportunity to see a related issues at a magnitude of different angles.
Another way Page has affected me is he has constructed my interests and hobbies. He enabled me to witness what I could never imagine to exist, and made my wildest ideas into another ones reality. Page allowed me to discover my niche, in which I resurrected the largest website of that category; he has allowed me to create wonders in my life, and freedom of restraints from the technology I own. He has placed a pit of what I could have never thought to happen right in front of my eyes and millions of others unlocking me to do as I please and expand and explore my curiosity of this world to the endless limits. Through Google I could virtually read to death on any topic, examine it from infinite angles, and create my own conclusions and theories on it. With the aggregation of mass information which has neatly been sorted by Page's invention and clever thinking, it has allowed me to create my own ideas to share with the world, and my own universal views. It has overall carved me into the person I have become and will further refine me to the person I will become in the future.
Page's ideas and creations have greatly impacted my life. They have redefined my standard of living significantly by presenting me with multiple angles of study on a certain region of a topic. They have helped me connected beyond my current area, and has allowed me to learn about anything from someone else thousands of mile away at a different perspective; allowing me to establish my own theories and views. They have as well taught me a plethora about things I could have never imagined and has allowed me to succeed in them throughout my high school life. Pages constant contribution to the cyber world has totally revolutionized the way the world was once ran. He has strongly influenced my life, and has overall crafted me into a person in which I could have never been without his mind and his tools in life.
Greetings!
I like your unique take on the assignment! Here are some editing tips for you:
Sometimes the greatest tools and inventions in our world are [delete often over] seen as an integration of life
Life without Page's ideas
School work has been probably the most impacted aspect of my life Page has affected me with. - Better would be "Schoolwork is probably the area where Page has had the most impact."
He unlocked the locked door
dictated through our teachers
Imagining me without Page
and sung a solid view from my book, - I'm not sure what you were trying to say here
However because of him, we are exposed to a plethora of ideas, and this allows me to conform to my own individuality,
as well an opportunity to see [delete a] related issues at a magnitude of different angles.
and made my wildest ideas into another person's reality.
They have helped me to connect beyond my current area, and have allowed me to learn about anything from someone else thousands of mile away from a different perspective, allowing me to establish my own theories and views. They have, as well, taught me a plethora of things I could have never imagined and have allowed me to succeed in them throughout my high school life. Page's constant contribution to the cyber world has totally revolutionized the way the world was once run. He has strongly influenced my life, and has [delete overall] crafted me into a person who I could never have been without his mind and his tools in life.
Good job! Maybe you should send Mr. Page a copy of it! :-)
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
