hello, can you check my essay please.
topic:[b] the idea of having a single career becoming an old fashioned one. the new fashion mil be to have several careers of ways of earning money and further education will be something that continious throughout life.
some people believe that one should built his or her career based on one profession. other people say that a person should have more than one profession and rely on earning money than stuying first. indeed, having several jobs could be very convenient for some people, but at the same time it could be useless for others.
to begin with many people now built their career according to one profession career, because it is supposed to be traditionally correct. in the other words, a person chooses a particular profession and enters the university according to the job repectively. one of the precenders of such career is that one will know everything about his or her job and have enough experience in a definite sphere. however there are also some drawbacks of such career building. for instance, having the only profession, one will not be able to work in another field. moreover if individual is redundant, he or she does not need in any sphere and it reduces the variaty of living well having only one profession.
secondly, in modern world there are people who built a career based on several professions. having several careers is a type of being universal person. these people start earning money even before etering the university. furthermore, such people believe that they can study and learn a particular strategies or some job not in early ages but before employment. of course this kind of buildign a career has a lot of advantages. for instance being an engineer and translater one will get higher salary than a usual one. on the other hand , having a little knowledge about each job one would not be a concrete specialist. thus, the chances to achieve highest position in a definite job are less than a one career worker has.
to sum up, i strongly believe that a person should have several careers, because it gives an acces to improve his or her outlook. moreover even though being fired from one job one can easily find another position and will never stay without money.
Hi :) I can help you with editing your grammar.
S ome people believe that one should build his or her career based on one profession. Otherspeople say that a person should have more than one profession (many jobs?) and relyfocus on earning money rather than studying first. I ndeed, having several jobs could be very convenient for some people, but at the same time it could be useless for others.
Good intro, don't forget to capitalize the first letter in the sentence.
...to begin with, secondly, to sum up... These phrases are unnecessary.
to begin withM any people now build their career according to one profession career , because it is supposed to be traditionally correctthe best way to improve your status and make more money.
Inthe other words, a person chooses a particular professioncareer path and enters the universityseeks education according to the job respectively.
Good job! You have so many great ideas, very interesting! Continue to work on your grammar. Good luck in school :)
