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A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status


msmwarren 2 / 4  
Jun 18, 2013   #1
IELTS ESSAY TOPIC: A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.


ESSAY:

The topic is based on an apparently true fact that a person's worth during present days is assessed on the criteria of material possessions & social status rather than moral values such as honesty, integrity, kindness & trust which is agreeable to some extent but is not a completely valid argument for all situations.

The advocates of this theory arguably have some sensible justifications that support the fact that the world is becoming more & more materialistic since it can be observed in our daily life that there is a high competition of new technological inventions & people are desperate to get their hands first on new advanced products. There is also a race for social status as some people have ascribed status but other people are struggling hard to achieve a status. For instance, doctors earn the status of a doctor by succeeding in the medical exams, a professional accountant achieve his status by completing the requirement of a professional accountancy body. It is a common thought among a proportion of people that person who is wealthy, rich and who have high profile social status is deemed to be valuable personality in the society. Among many of the other reasons, a possible reason reason for such reflection might be that people expect that a person who is financially strong can benefit them financially or a person who have solid social status might give them some type of benefit in kind.

However, the question is does that standard to determine the worth of a person really defines the actual meaning of a worthy person. It can be said without any doubt that no one in the world would like to go to a doctor who is famous of being dishonest to his profession & also the shareholders of a large listed company will not be convinced to handover their investment to a mistrusted professional accountant. In all such cases all that matter is so-called old fashioned values known as trust, honesty, integrity & kindness which is the most deserving yardstick in concluding the real worth of a person.

In conclusion, it is merely the perception of a person who is making judgement regarding the worth of a person.
jkjeremy - / 380 72  
Jun 18, 2013   #2
The advocates of this theory arguably have some sensible justifications that support the fact that the world is becoming more & more materialistic since it can be observed in our daily life that there is a high competition of new technological inventions & people are desperate to get their hands first on new advanced products.

Unless your name is Henry David Thoreau, you are not allowed to write sentences this long. It looks to be at least fifty words.

There is also a race for social status as some people have ascribed status but other people are struggling hard to achieve a status

You've used the word "status" three times in one sentence!

The essay is an IELTS five.

Write an outline of the essay you've posted above. If you find it hard to do, then you'll be able to see what I consider to be the biggest problem here.
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Jun 18, 2013   #3
I think you can shorten your sentence by reducing adverbs and such...

new technological inventions

more & more materialistic

high profile social status

an examiner may think you are more concerned about the number of words instead of the essay content
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 4, 2013   #4
The topic is based on an apparently true fact that a person's worth during present days is assessed on the criteria of material possessions & social status rather than moral values such as honesty, integrity, kindness & trust which is agreeable to some extent but is not a completely valid argument for all situations.

Well.... just as others have commented above, I too need to tell that you should avoid writing such lengthy sentences. Also, your response for this IELTS task should be in the form of an essay. This looks like a direct answer to a question. You need to write an essay with an Introduction, Body paragraphs (at least two) and a conclusion. In the introduction, introduce the prompt to the reader and state your position on the argument. Then in body paras, tell reason for holding that position (one reason per para) and then support your reasoning with a specific example. In conclusion sum up what you said before and reinstate your position.
sherry manson 2 / 4 1  
Jul 4, 2013   #5
msmwarren:
The topic is based on an apparently true fact that a person's worth during present days is assessed on the criteria of material possessions & social status rather than moral values such as honesty, integrity, kindness & trust which is agreeable to some extent but is not a completely valid argument for all situations

i don't mention the length. the theme of this sentence is a little off base. you want to emphasize that you don't agree the topic but all your present your attitude is just several words. i think it is a little week to clarify your clear stand. sometimes, too much concession would be counterproductive.


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