Q: Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Artwork is one of the measurements about the progress of a civilization. Consequently, numerous governments spend their budget to the improvement of art besides public service sectors. Some people argue that government should focus only in public services because this policy directly affects the quality of people' lives. In this case, I personally believe that it is better for the government to finance public services first before spending national budget in art.
Commonly, the improvement of public services drives to high quality of life, because the citizens can fulfill their basic needs. For example, in Singapore the government gives priority to finance hospital and school and it plays an important role to help people to be healthier and more intelligent. Consequently, their citizens are more wealth and have higher life expectancy than other countries.
On the other hand, the countries have to dispense the national income to the art sector. It is because the artworks and artists are needed by inhabitants as the entertainment. For instance, maintenance of Taman Ismail Marzuki theatre in Indonesia is required extra attention from the Indonesia government in order that the artists and artworks do not demolish by the sophisticated era.
To sum up, I personally believe that government in each country should prioritize the public services rather than art sector.
I suggest you to check more how many words that you have written. your essay does not have enough words at least 250 in IELTS writing test Task 2 particularly. you will be lost score here. please pay too much attention again.
also, there are none a conclusion or an opinion in your last sentence of second paragraph, so the content of this paragraph does not complete to explain your a main idea.
your last paragraph there should be a re-write of your statements in first paragraph. this means to complete the information of your essay in the last paragraph.
I hope this helpful for your ability in writing essay.