Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that...
Today, I want to describe the thinking of few persons that competition sense has an importance in children, so it must be encouraged. On the other hand, compete does not take any space rather than co-operation to become useful human. Like others, these two differences have also advantages and disadvantages, which I will explain here simultaneously.
Nowadays competition is every wherein the Globe. Everyone wants a profitable value in their life. So it's better to start thinking about competition in children from their school. So, he/she always compete to others till become a nice human, who always help to others. Maybe he/she not achieve their goals in a smoothly way but every person reminds him as a helpful adult.
Despite from all, if a child always thinks competition, then he/she always think the wrong negative. At the every step of life, he/she cannot achieve their targets on time. The child has to sacrifices many things regarding this matter.
In my conclusion, no doubt there must be a sense of competition in children but most important thing is cooperation. I think don't get success after putting feet on the other's shoulder. Always co-operate and help to others, so that people will always remind you in beautiful words. Although this is very difficult to survive with cooperation, especially nowadays, but as a useful adult/human, we have to do this.
Afsar, are you writing this essay in relation to an English exam you will be taking? Kindly indicate which exam it will be so that we will know how to assess your work. Regardless of whether you are taking a test or taking a class, it would really have helped us in assessing your essay if you presented the prompt for it before you submitted your essay. We need the question so that we can judge if your essay meets the prompt requirements.
The essay does not really follow the correct format for essay writing as the paragraphs are stuck one after another and the thoughts remain under developed. The line of reasoning is weak because you do not really take the time to thoroughly explain your ideas within the paragraphs. Also, by default, when writing in English, the gender becomes male so there is really no need to use a slash to indicate both genders. Saying "he" is more than sufficient to explain what you mean.
You need to learn to differentiate the essay from the introduction, body of the essay, and your conclusion. That is done through proper paragraph spacing and separation. Now for the rest of your essay:
Today, I want to describe the thinking of A few persons PEOPLE that THE SENSE OF competition sense has an importance in IS IMPORTANT TO children, so it must be encouraged. On the other hand, compete COMPETITION does not take any space rather than co-operation to become useful human AND PROMOTES COOPERATION BETWEEN PEOPLE. Like others, these two differences have also advantages and disadvantages, which I will explain here simultaneously
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Nowadays competition is every wherein the Globe . Everyone wants a profitable value in their life. So it's better to start thinking PROMOTING about competition in children from their school. So, he/she always competeS WITH to others till become a nice human HE DEVELOPS A NICE PERSONALITY SUCH AS BEING HELPFUL. , who always help to others. Maybe he/she DID not achieve their HIS goals in a smoothly way but every person reminds him as TO BE a helpful adult.
Despite from all OF THESE, if a child always thinks ABOUT competition, then he/she WILL always think the wrong IN THE negative. At the every step of life, he/she cannot achieve their HIS targets on time. The child has to sacrifices many things regarding this matter.
In my conclusion, no doubt there must be a sense of competition in children but THE most important thing is cooperation. I think don't get success after putting feet on the other's shoulder. Always co-operate and help to others, so that people will always remind you in beautiful words. Although this is very difficult to survive with cooperation COOPERATE WITH OTHERS, especially nowadays, but as a useful adult/human, we have to do this IN ORDER TO BECOME GOOD PEOPLE.
