Hi Miss Sarlinda.
These are my corrections for your essay
Today, the electronic media usage
BY common people becomeS an essential thing ...
... become depending on THE electronic media
as a part of their necessary IN THE WHOLE
in every day
OWING TO benefits an ...Somehow, I believe the presence of the electronic media gave us many ...(Please, focus on the question because there displayed the prompts which will guide you to explain)
... the people keep their relationship
by remote communication
with their colleagues IN A REMOTE AREA.
... communication with THE family in other ...
... media such as THE mobile phone, laptop and notebook
ARE launched with any features
supporting communication (...) because the people
THESE DAYS can download any ...
THE mobile phone or notebook
completeD with online access ...
Note: Well, I have read your essay closely. I got the conclusion that you only review your reasons why you disagree with the statement. However, you have to uderstand deeply the question
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
You should also explain that if you agree with the statement, you have the reason. be careful of this matter because it relates to the task responses.However, you have show the postistive progress. I firmly believe that you can master this skill. You only need providing the time to practice more and more.