Persuasive essay on banning schoolies forever

Year 9 Persuasive Essay
(Common Assessment Task)
You are to write a persuasive essay of 500 words in length on either of the issues below.

How would you feel if your child came back from Schoolies with bruises, scratches, and a black eye or pregnant? Or worse, your child not coming home at all, because he/she has been arrested, and is spending months in prison. How would you react? Due to the incidents that have happened during the past years, schoolies should be banned forever. Reasons being is the fact that it causes problems, situations, and incidents to teenagers.

Alcohol is the main substance that schoolies use, which is one of the main reasons why it causes fights, dramas and problems. Schoolies drink alcohol non-stop. They have five or more drinks in a schoolies session. Every night, most females and males are reported drunk. They drink way more alcohol than they typically drink. An interview at Rottnest Island found that males often drink an average of 18 drinks and females 13 per day during schoolies. They get drunk which causes violent fights, which then leads to them getting arrested. Now isn't that utterly disgraceful. This shows how disgusting these teenagers act and it shows what they're capable of doing when their parents are nowhere to be seen.

Violence is also a main problem in schoolies. Fights are always occurring almost every single night, which is leading to a heap of schoolies in prison, their faces covered with scars, black eyes, scratches, and bruises. It also leads them into hospital. A teenage girl, who was left bleeding after getting aggressively attacked by another teenage girl using a coffee mug woke up the next morning shocked in a hospital bed. Wow, don't you see how completely awful and ashaming that is? Not just for the attacker, but for her parents as well. (WHY? IS IT EMBARASING) A bunch of thoughtless teenage boys violently attacked another teenage boy due to boredom. Now that is simply stupidity and foolishness. Who do these terrible teenagers think they are? Thinking they can do whatever they want. I don't think they realize the consequences that come about when doing these awful things.

Illegal drugs are also used by schoolies. A Gold Coast study has found that 32% of males and 17% of females have used an illegal drug called cannabis during their time at Schoolies. At Rottenest Island Schoolies, 15% have used cannabis, and 6% of males and 3% of females used ecstasy, also for fact an illegal drug. I find that absolutely shocking, I believe you do too. If these schoolies are still using such illegal drugs, imagine what the future would bring them, that is if they're still alive by then! From these evidences, these schoolies are getting out of hand. The percentage of people using drugs may increase in the future. But it's not too late to make a change.

Rape also occurs in Schoolies .Reported rapes and unreported rape happens a lot in schoolies. It mainly happens to girls. This happens by girls basically drinking too much or used drugs with alcohol which made them easy targets. This happened to a teenage girl, Amy, thinking it would be a fun week but turned into a nightmare for her. Walking down to the pool area of the hotel at night, Amy had gotten dragged to a corner from two 30 year old men (she estimated) who then, sexually attacked her. This brings sadness and unhappiness to me. From the age of 18, Amy is never going to forget what happened to her for the rest of her life. Her parents would've felt absolutely upset and angry about it and probably regretted taking her daughter to schoolies. This shows that this may be a big worry to girls. Parents do not want their child coming back to saying they were in an act of rape. There is little chance of teenage girls getting pregnant from getting raped, but often get pregnant from unprotected sex. How would their parents feel?

As you can see, there are many situations that occur in schoolies. And no one has found a solution to solve it. Banning schoolies would be such an appreciation. Not just for me, but for others who agree also. For many years, these problems have happened and you've noticed, so why won't you make a solution to this and ban schoolies? It'll make a big difference for the future.

Or worse, your child not coming home at all, because he/she has been arrested, and isand in jailspending months in prison


.... there is a grammar issue :(
The reason is that this issue causes problematic and unpleasant situations for teenagers.


Alcohol is the main substance that get schoolies addicted and that create fights, unpleasant scenes and problems.

I enjoy reading this essay. You write very well :)


I see grammar issues here. You should pay particular attention to subject-verb agreement


Ellipsis

Hope this helps :D

Any infomation on this event? Does it have an officail report, or is it a friend of yours?

Just amazing Irasa ;)

Thanks a lot, yes it has helped, I am lucky enough to see this before the due date of this essay !

Yes it does have an official report, and no, she was not a friend of mine.