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Many peope have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good?
It is generally known that animals provide companionship for people who longingly needed and reduce their master's stress. Besides, affording a pet is no longer a financial burden for many urban inhabitants in China. Therefore, more and more families with great passion have been engaged in this hobby. Most of them choose fuzzy animals, such as puppies, as their pets. Popular, captured, many people have fun to own a pet and they treat their pet as a member of their family. This phenomenon seems good but truth never becomes so simple.
First, not every family needs to have a pet. In most cases, many families own a pet because of attainable rather than necessarily need. They treat their pets as a member among them and are often inclined to spoil them, their diet is good and even better than human, fed too fat to walk or fly. Dogs wear small exquisite clothes and birds own special-made comb. Seemingly, it is impossible to insist that such intensive care can not prove a good relationship. Given that animals had a choice, they may desire their master treat them as they are with less humanistic.
Second, not every person is capable of raising a pet. It requires copious time occupied to train or nurse them. At beginning, a close relationship may it seems. With the passing sense of freshness, hidden danger of being abandoned is for real. For instance, there are stray dogs or alley cats hunting which people frequently see in the city of China. Likewise, such problem also exists in many other countries. Regardless of improper management, one cannot fail to tell that almost every stray animal in such situation once had intense relationship with a name. Moreover, men discard the loved pet for ridiculous reasons. Quite often, a young couple buys a pet to celebrate their start. If such pet outlive their love, they will naturally loathe it and take irresponsible.
In such relationship，whether good or bad, the animal always belongs to the weak compared to their master. If it meets a person who is kind and rather responsible, good life may ensure. If not, it will go through highs and lows of its life. In a word, pet proposes man disposes. The close relationship existing now doesn't ensure next time. So when one buy a pet, remember it is more than one relationship.
For a TOEFL essay, this is fine in terms of content. However, the conclusion more coherently states your thesis than does your introduction.
I see that you are struggling to incorporate higher-level language in your English prose. You use words in their proper senses, but the structure of your sentences needs work. When writing TOEFL essays, I'd like to see you write shorter and simpler sentences in order to reduce the risk of grammatical errors.
For example:
It is generally known thatA nimals provide companionship for people who longingly needed and reduce their master's stress.
Popular, captured, many people begin to treat their pet as a member of their family.
I don't understand what you mean by "popular, captured" -- it's very poetic and reminds me that the animals called "pets" are captives in a world controlled by people, but I doubt that is your meaning.
I mean that pet is appealing and human like it. From what you said, I know I use wrong word.
In fact, I made this sentence enlightened by one is that "Captured, involved, the audience in a movie theater will forget everything but the story in action on the screen".
It seems wrong to use here. Thank you for reminding.
