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TOEFL 'phone and e-mail make my communication easier'


eradulova 7 / 14  
Mar 6, 2012   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones and email have made communication between people less personal. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Telephone and emails are modern means of communication. They have not existed in the past and even though I do not think they make communication less personal.

Now I will tell you why? Communication is divided in two parts, personal and non personal. Let us have glance at the first one, it is the one that take place as topic of my review. So, we need to communicate each other. Than we choose the way we make it. I mean, you need to hear news from your fellow so you call him or he does it. No matter either you or he/she. Is he or she one of your closest friends or not. You just keep talking to him in your fashion. However the conversation can go personal or not, it depends on the relationship you have. In the busy time we are living it is not possible to keep in touch otherwise or at least it is hard to be. We use as much devices as we can to communicate with friend and family, just not to loose relationship.

Even more I think that telephones and emails keep people closer to each other. How could it be possible when we run all day to work, to the gum, to pick up the children and go to the bar unless we have some time to do all of this .In that case how much spare time we have left to meet other people? So we have telephone to call and ask "How are you my friend? Today I did this and this. What do you think about?" Or write an email to discuss idea or plans you have for you holiday for example.

Even more we have globalization as fact. There is so many friends of mine moved to another place. I would like to hear for them. I am not able to meet all of them in a week. So I use any appropriate mean to keep in touch.

In the end I think that phone and e-mail make my communication easier and keep me close to my all fellow around the globe. I am thankful to the advanced technology that makes me able to be with my friends who far away and makes it easy to deal with those who are near me.

Tobi 6 / 10 1  
Mar 6, 2012   #2
A good essay in general, but not for TOEFL, because it is rather in a talk-style than a formal one.
Things you would better work on:
a) the organization of your essay - you are writing your ideas in a rather spontaneous way, for TOEFL it is a big minus
b) try to make your sentences and voabulary more formal - an example of NOT formal sentence - " Now I will tell you why? "

c) structure of the essay - minimum 2 body paragraphs need to be constructed, here is single big idea shared to whole essay

If you spend some time and work on several drawbacks, you can do well. Wish you all good.
OP eradulova 7 / 14  
Mar 7, 2012   #3
:) bunch of tanks, that helps me much


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