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Piano, my source of motivation - Umich/ Extracurricular CommonApp Essay


f3bruar7z 1 / 2 2  
Jan 26, 2015   #1
If you could only do one of the activities you have listed in the Activities section of your Common Application, which one would you keep doing? Why? (100 words). Please let me know if I have answered the prompt. Also, should I make the 'applause' in the middle in italics?

The stage is dimly lit, except for the lights softly illuminating the piano keys. Each time I strike down a set of chords, I feel the vibrations of sound waves departing. Beethoven's Sonata Pathetique takes me through a roller coaster of emotions. Chopin helps me focus on finding my balance.

Applause.

I am a musician: a privilege to myself and those around me. Piano was my source of motivation for the past 13 years. This will continue to be the root of my inspiration until my hands are too frail to galvanize others in conversing fluently through music.

vangiespen - / 4,140 1449  
Jan 26, 2015   #2
Yes, you should make applause italics in the middle of the paragraph. It signifies that the action is not a part of the text. It is a symbol of imagination and tells the reader it is happening in your mind. While the statement that you wrote is a good description of the activity and who you are, the reason as to why you would continue to do this activity well into and beyond your college years is not reflected in the essay. You need to provide that sort of explanation within 100 words in order to accurately address the prompt. Don't forget, the question is asking you why you think you will continue to do this. It is not enough to say that this has been a part of your life for 13 years. Nor is is sufficient to say that you are a musician. Reflect upon the benefits that you gain from playing the piano and performing in public (if you do so) and then use that as the basis for your "why" explanation. At this point, you just need to complete your explanation and expand on the parts I pointed out in order to create a more effective response.


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