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On pictures the information about producing electricity from wind and where locate such investment


Pramudia27 34 / 55 2  
Oct 27, 2016   #1
The pictures provide information about producing electricity from wind and where it can be placed. Overall, it can be seen that the equipment that is needed for this process are wood blades or fiber-glass blades, wind speed and direction of detector, generator, steel power, and also computer. The generating electricity process will be gotten maximum result when it is located on the hill and in the sea. Furthermore, placed in the sea will not reduce view of this site.

Firstly, before operating this machine, all tools should be roped. Next, the process of generating power is started from turned blades by wind that causes blades rotation. Then, the rotation will be detected by wind sensor, and it is delivered to computer. As a result, the electricity power can be generated.

On the other hand, the amount of output from wind turbine mechanism is influenced by location. The turbine that is placed on the hill can be produced higher result than domestic turbine. While, proportion of output from the turbine which is located in the sea is received optimum power, and also this no give influence for sea landscape.




ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Oct 27, 2016   #2
Hi Pramudiana,

Here's my analysis towards your IELTS writing task 1 essay.
1st paragraph:
- I assume that you've decided to use wrong tenses for this paragraph. The pictures clearly show what the turbine can do and its parts. If you use simple future form "will", I think it wasn't appropriate. This is related to the facts/general truth. I reckon that present tense is the most appropriate tenses that you can possibly use for this type of question/picture.

2nd paragraph:
- I appreciate the usage of passive voices in this paragraph. Most of them are okay. Yet, you still use several simple future tense which I think it wasn't appropriate.

3rd paragraph:
- You should be able to switch the usage of active and passive voice. It depends on the meaning itself. Try to refers back to your own language before writing this in English. What would it be? It seems quite odd isn't it? Let me give you an example that I took from this paragraph:

- The turbine that is placed on top of the hill can be producedgenerate/produce higher result than domestic turbine. (see? passive voice is okay, but when active is necessary, use that without any doubts.)

Hope this helps :)
Beauty17 56 / 88 5  
Oct 28, 2016   #3
... process are wood blades or fiber-glass blades, (repetitve words here)

wind speed and direction [s ]of detector (detector/sensor of wind speed and direction ), generator, steel powersteel tower , and also computer.

The generating electricity process will be gottenproduce maximum resultelectricity when it is located ...

Then, the rotation will beis detected by wind sensor

Hope it works! Good luck!
Gigih12 10 / 8  
Oct 28, 2016   #4
Hello pram, still remember me? hahaha
here is my advice for your writing:

1. ... information about producinghow to produce (it is better to change it pram ) electricity from ...

2. ... for this process are wood blades or fiber-glass bladesblades , wind speed and direction of detector, generator, steel power, and also computer. (it makes repetition, you should change your sentence )

3. The generating electricity process will be gotten maximum ... ( it should be " to generate maximum power of electricity, the power plant should be located....."..... )

I think you did it well, good job!


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