Let me start with the introduction. You have successfully paraphrased the rubric, but you need to pay attention to the words chosen, since not all words in the rubric have close meanings, like the word "Inns"
that cannot be used to replace restaurants.
The overview you wrote did not cover all the feature, since you missed the tenses. In this report, you have two different time frames: past and future. However, I do not see you use appropriate tenses for this report. See this:
Burger King and KFC areCoherence and Cohesion:
It seems you have no problem at all in the way you develop the sentence to sentence agreement, but some linking words you use are inaccurate
. To avoid making repetitive, you need to use more references as to replace the ones you have mentioned.Lexical Resource:
When it comes to the vocabulary, two-three word combinations are needed as to show the examiner that you can use a natural set phrase being closely. However, some of which you used are not colloquial, like held the second-biggest percentage
; the tendency of
;are forecasted to
; gain more attention from
; respectivelyGrammatical Range and Accuracy
This is the area you need to concern more. Comma splices more often occur in your sentences, although they do not affect the communication. The misuse of however and otherwise appear there.
Hope this helps