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Writing Task 1 Pie Charts 3 Fast Food Restaurants in Vietnam and Indonesia over the 10-year period


Mahmud30 1 / 1  
Dec 11, 2019   #1

popularity of famous fast foods chains



The pie charts present the percentage of the best fast food restaurants according to teenagers in Vietnam and Indonesia from 2017 to 2027, a 10-year priode.

Overall, the proportion of McDonald's consumptions in Indonesia was initially higher that of those in Vietnam but it is eventually predicted to show the reverse.

In 2017, more teenagers in Vietnam preferred to consume Burger King with 52.8% but this percentage was lower in Indonesia while the proportion of McDonald's showed the highest. In addition, KFC consumption in Vietnam came as last preference with 4.1%.

Apart from previous comparison, the percentages of McDonald's and KFC consumed by youth in Vietnam are predicted to increase by 14% and 2%, respectively but that of Burger King will show a significant fall from 52.8% to 39%. In Indonesia, almost all fast food restaurant, are envisaget to decrease, except KFC rising to 39.2% in the term of favorite one by 2027.




eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Dec 11, 2019   #2
Task Achievement:
> You are not allowed to add an irrelevant personal opinion.
> The data is not about McDonald's consumptions, but teenagers preferences in choosing fast food restaurants.
> Beware of understanding the report. You cannot say Vietnam preferred to consume; the proportion of McDonald's
> You write an overview, but it is inaccurate.

Coherence and Cohesion:
> Although you use some cohesive devices, I do not see that you have successfully developed sentences to sentence coherence.

Lexical Resource:
> Check your spelling, like the words "envisage"; priode
> It is always good to use word combinations, like adjective and nouns or adverb and verb. This helps you to score higher.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
> More errors in sentences show that you need to pay attention to basic grammar. Learn how to write fully-developed sentences
> Learn how to use articles, singular-plural nouns, and commas.

Hope this helps


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