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Ielts 1: Pie charts. The online sale section in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Minh Thu 2 / 3  
Jul 11, 2018   #1
Topic: The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

My essay:
The two pie charts give information about the proportion of four retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. It is clear to see that, over five years there were a significant changes in their proportion of online transactions.

In 2005 the most significant online sale was Ellectronics and Appliance which accounted 35% , but this percentage dropped to 30% in 2010. Over the same five-years period, there was a significant increased in Food and Beverage from 22% to 32% that made this became the largest amount of online sales for retail sectors in Canada.

With the regards to the remaining to methods of selling. There was an approximate 5% growth in Video G ames online sales from 18% to 23%. Home Furnishings in 2005 was a good proportion. But over five years in 2010 this figure decreased noticeablely in sale from 25% to 15%, making it the retail sector with the least overall proportion of the online market.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,989 2700  
Jul 12, 2018   #2
Minh this is a pretty solid analysis of the pie chart. You covered all of the bases for presentation except 2 parts. In the first paragraph / summary overview, you failed to indicate the 4 retail sectors as part of the required information. So the electronics and appliance, food and beverage, home furnishings, and video games should have been included in that outline.

You also do not have a clear trending statement at the end that indicates how, over the 5 year period, the growing trend was an increase in the sales of food and beverages in the online retail sector. It would have been alright to repeat the information in more specific detail in the next paragraph because the first paragraph is only a summary of the information to be presented anyway. You could have even offered a comparison trending statement that informed the reader that the trend was a growth in the F&B sector and a decline in home furnishing sales over the 5 year period.
OP Minh Thu 2 / 3  
Jul 13, 2018   #3
thank you so much for spending time to read my essay. Your review helped me improve my skill.

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