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Ielts: The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland

tran14 12 / 26 7  
Jul 27, 2017   #1
The pie charts below (at the end of the essay) show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995.

female learners in Someland

The pie charts compare the percentages recorded as the results of a survey on female students' uppermost grade of education in Someland in 1945 and 1995.

As can be seen from the charts, in the latter year, the variety of levels reduced significantly. While some lower classes saw a slip, a few higher ones experienced an amazing surge.

From an overall perspective on the first pie chart, it is clear that no schooling and third grade sections accounted for the highest proportions which were slightly over a third at that time. On the other hand, post graduate occupied no portion at all, chich made it the lowest figure of all.

In the second illustration, first degree learners bore the most striking characteristic when making up exactly half of the chart. It is interesting to note that in 1945, the mentioned part just established no more than a hundredth; however, it rose rom which to a half within merely a decade. Following the same pattern, post graduate students increased to a fifth after the same period. Nevertheless, no schooling, third grade and year 6 experienced noticeable drops of 35%, 35% and 15% respectively, which caused them the lowest points and to disappeared from the chart.

ghazali 4 / 6 2  
Jul 27, 2017   #2
I think it will more enjoyable if do not mention "on the first pie chart" and "In the second illustration", and directly mention the period because it explain about data of education in both years, so reader can easily read as an information compared education in both years
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,856 4178  
Jul 27, 2017   #3
Tran, these pie charts need to have a point of comparison. That is the reason why two pie charts are provided to you. While you are supposed to discuss the individual elements of each chart, you must also do a comparison in order to show the differences in percentage on a year on year basis. The presentation of the essay must have had 5 paragraphs, namely:

1. The overview summary that explains the original instructions from the prompt
2. The contents of the first pie chart
3. The contents of the second chart
4. A comparison of the figures in the first and second pie chart. The trending may be discussed in this section as well.
5. Concluding statement regarding the information you analyzed (optional)

As presentations go, this is good but incomplete. Hopefully, you will be able to use the outline I provided above to help assist you with your next practice test.
LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Jul 27, 2017   #4
Hi. I would like to rewrite a sentence for you:

It is clear that no schooling and third ... =>

The majority of women at that time received third grade education or simply no schooling, each accounting for slightly over a third of the total female population.
OP tran14 12 / 26 7  
Jul 28, 2017   #5
Thank you all for very useful advice, this will help me a lot in improving my skill.

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