Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Pie charts - transportation to travel to a university

ieltslover_1 1 / -  
Jun 13, 2022   #1

two charts to compare with description

The pie charts illustrate people's choices of means of transportation to travel to a university between 2004 and 2009.

Overall, there was an increase in the number of people opting for a bicycle, public transportation, and walking as the main methods to access the university examined; meanwhile, an opposite trend can be seen in the figure for car usage. In addition, the train and walking choices had consistently the least figures throughout the period.

The percentage of bus options started at 33%, after which it saw a significant rise to almost a half in 2009. Furthermore, only 9% of people chose bicycle as the main mean of transportation to travel to the university in 2004, with a subsequent two-fold to 16% 5 years later. As a result, the figure for people using cars declined considerably from 51% to 28% over the period.

The proportion of people walking to the university increased slightly, ending at 6% in 2009. A similar change can be seen in the figure for those opting for train, which rose from 3% to 4% over the 5-year period.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,856 4178  
Jun 13, 2022   #2
The number of pie charts must be accurately stated along with what year it represents to help differentiate the image comparisons later on. Written in the current manner, the report does not address task clarity due to the lack of information separation.

More comparison clarity is needed. Report on the years individually within the last 2 paragraphs. A more coherent trending statement would have delivered a more sufficient comparison overview. Do not confuse the reporting paragraphs by jumping around the half decade year references. Learn to group the information to achieve a clearer report.

Trying to combine the year information idea was not a good idea in this case because of the confusing nature of the presentation. Focus on developing your C + C skills when writing your next practice test as this is your current weak spot.
johnny sins 1 / 2  
Jun 13, 2022   #3
not a professional
but you can improve by using advannced phrase: upward/ downward trend,...
balenced 2 pas

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Pie charts - transportation to travel to a university