Presently, many young people choose to work or travel around for a year after high school, then come back to university studies.
..."return" would sound better in place of "come back"
while otherscould not accept this fact.
... "fail to" instead of "could not"
From my perspective, every coin has its two sides, benefits and hindrances, so does this issue.
... Awesome; very good, I love this type of sentences rather than writing stereotype sentences " In this essay I am going to analyse ..." :D
Also, I wish you had the key work "drawbacks" .... You can have more rhyming key words like - merits and demerits/ advantages & disadvantages/ pros and cons/ positives and negatives/ pluses & minus etc. etc. :D .... It's nice to have rhyming words :)
They will have chances to meet people, practice things.
.... explore new things.
I like your writing style. You write very well too... :)