hello everyone , this is my first draft of statement of purpose . i intended to apply for phd in urban ®ional planning . i need your feedback about it .
thanks in advance for who gonna help me to revise it .
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Statement of purpose
When I was studying at???????????? to get bachelor degree in accounting information system, I have chosen one course among elective courses from my specialization outline, it was " planning principles " class , that class was teaching by lecturer ???? , this course provided me general information about regional and urban planning. Its Text book has many chapters about planning concepts like theoretical framework of planning, phases of planning, planning components, and participating in planning. Hence, that course has sparked my interested in planning since I was in second year in my undergraduate study. When I returned to my country I have interested in planning affairs so, I read many development plans of ministry of planning and international cooperation, and I Had have annual book of statistics center that presented many population statistics.
After I got my bachelor, planning was my preferred field to continue graduate education because I have been interested in planning field. So, I decided to enroll to master program in regional planning. I got an admission at ????? University. Then, I became accepted in master program by September 2009. I got my academic experience from courses that I took them when I was studying in master program in regional planning. I took many courses like urban and regional economic, that course has many topics related to analysis of regional economy, economic models, econometrics, and economic interactions between regions. Also I studied quantitative techniques course, planning theories course, geographic information systems by using arc map application and Google earth, human resources planning course , rural planning. And scientific research methods course .I got master degree on September 2011. my master was comprehensive exam concentrated on compulsory courses instead of thesis that's means I took 9 more credit hours in planning to fulfillment requires courses to get master degree in regional planning .
During my studies in master program I took "planning theories "course, that course has many planning theories like architecture, geographical, and economic theories. One of these theories it was about limitations of cities expansion and how overstep these limitations by using threshold analysis to overstep limitations and how to minimizing overstepping cost. Threshold theory has many aspects about scenarios of urban sprawl limitations. Hence, I have been interested in limitations of cities expansion because populations at cities are continue to increase day by day that's means we need more space to fill gap in housing and services facilities, That's why we need to study cities expansion directions and indicating the best scenario to overstep expected thresholds that going to associate with urban sprawl.
My professional career goal aims to participate in planning in both academic and professional fields in my country in ?????, because my country still needs a lot of planning. Students in my country take few courses in planning at geography department. I aim to develop planning education in my country in university level at least I am going to try to establish planning department because it very important for country development especially after civil war is done, cities and towns are need reconstruction . Hence, the planning is going to play major role in reconstruction and development.
I intended to develop PHD dissertation related to issues of urban & regional planning, my field of interest and preferred research topic as I mentioned above will concentrate on thresholds analysis of cities expanded, and that field is related to interested fields of professor ???? at urban & regional department at university at buffalo .This may help to enhance the abilities of planners, managers, and decision makers to make the most effective decisions to maximize benefits on social, economic, and environmental terms. As a residence at buffalo city I would participate to improve an urban planning especially regard urban sprawls issues.
There is no doubt that United States universities and their outstanding researchers have the best and unique contributions to studies of urban & regional planning , and university at buffalo has distinguished faculty staff and researchers at urban & regional planning department , that's encourage me to apply to get an admission at your university.
As you can see from my attached resume and transcript, I have had good perseverance and enthusiasm over my course of education. I was among the best graduate students in master degree with high GPA (3.72) out of 4.
Thank you for your time and considerations, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to study and research at university at buffalo, I am looking forward to hear from you as soon as possible.
Mohammed
Nov 20, 2015
Mohammed, you are going way too much back into your past academic experience for a student interested in a PhD. The statement of purpose for a PhD does not require you to discuss you collegiate academic activities. That is way too irrelevant already since your masters degree has taken you one step closer to a doctorate. So you need to reflect the kind of professional that you have become over all this time.
When it comes to mentioning your academics, discuss only your masters degree experience. After that, move on to your current professional experience in relation to your masters degree and your desire to seek even higher academic studies at the moment. Show the progression of your academic and professional side that has led you to the door of a PhD course. Explain the reasons that seeking the PhD at this time is a necessity for your career.
Map out your career plan in terms of the way that the PhD can help you further develop as a professional. Remember that dissertation thesis that you wrote for your masters degree? Now is the time to review it. Look into some possible research avenues that opened up in that paper which you can further pursue as a PhD student and present that as one of the additional reasons for your desire to complete the PhD course.
The idea behind the PhD is to have you present a more advanced problem to the selection committee that they will deem relevant or pioneering in your course of study. They need to know that your interest in research and academics will help to enhance the image of their institution as a cutting edge source of future leaders in the field.
Unfortunately, none of those criteria exist in this draft. It also has an identity crisis at the moment because it starts out as a narrative then ends as a letter. An SOP is always written in narrative format, never letter type. So, we have a lot of work to do before you can even get to a working draft copy of your SOP. My suggestions should help you get on track. I'll be around to help you further define your SOP until you get it right :-) Good luck!
dear vangiespen
thanks for replying and guiding me to get better SOP . regard my SOP ,i have no master thesis because i got my degree by taking comprehensive exam that focused on compulsory courses instead of thesis (more credit hours) . that's why i wrote initial idea based on my experience that i got it from courses that i took them when i was studying .i hope you provide me with ideas based on my academic situation .
thanks ,,
Mohammed
