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planting a tree; Young people are more concerned - issues like the environment


Alison 5 / 13  
Feb 7, 2014   #1
Test 5: Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your own opinion?

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Our previous generations were more concerned about the well being of themselves rather than their future generations or protecting the earth. However, it is fortunate that young people of this generation are becoming more aware and concerned about environmental issues such as global warming and social issues such as poverty and animal welfare.

Our antecedents lived in a generation where natural resources were in abundance. However, they squandered those resources and bequeathed us with numerous environmental problems. As a result, young people of today are being compelled to tackle with these issues. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to see a kid planting a tree or recycling their rubbish. Many juveniles are also emphasising the seriousness of the environmental problems we are facing today through posters, paintings and blogs. Moreover, some youngsters even established organizations which aim to address these issues.

I believe the media, especially the internet, plays an important role in raising awareness of social difficulties, such as poverty, to young people. People in the previous generations had little or no knowledge about what was happening around the world and therefore, only paid attention to their own good. However, as youngsters nowadays are seeing and hearing the cries of people from poor countries via news and internet, they feel more concerned. This leads to some juveniles leaving their comfy homes to stay and help less fortunate people in developing countries.

Concerns of young people extend to animal welfare as well. They give shelter to stray cats and dogs and help them to find a home. Besides, youngsters are strongly against animal abuse and starting many campaigns to stop it. These efforts indeed reduced animal abusing rate and create a healthier relationship between humans and animals.

Considering the facts that I have mentioned above, there is no doubt that young people of the current generation are not only more aware of the environment, poverty and animal welfare than their ancestors but also actively involved in addressing these issues.

fikri 5 / 317 71  
Feb 7, 2014   #2
However, itis fortunate that young

which one is the verb? it should be ...it is fortunately....
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 9, 2014   #3
Our previous generations were more concerned about the well being of themselves rather than their future generations or protecting the earth.

This sounds like a bit stereotype accusation :D
You are not properly introducing the prompt.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Feb 9, 2014   #4
However, they squandered those resources and bequeathed us with numerous environmental problems.

Hey, be careful of using synonyms too often in your sentences. If you are not sure of their usage, never use them because they can destroy your idea all together. Clarity of your sentences take precedence over advance vocabulary in essay writing.
orthofracture 1 / 2  
Feb 16, 2014   #5
i think that essay is good regarding the linguistic structures but it lacks ideas organization
introduction
it lacks a strong opening sentence as well as there is no thesis sentence

Undoubtedly, some issues which is related to environmental, human, and social conflicts require certain degree of awareness side by side to financial welfare. Our previous generations were more concerned about the wellbeing of themselves rather than paying attention to these threats, this essay will cite the fact that new generation has the privilege regarding problems such as global warming, pollution, animal prosperity, international poverty, etc...

hope that was useful


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