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Playing games teach you about life


linh san 1 / -  
Oct 27, 2021   #1

the advantages AND disadvantages of playing games



There is no doubt technology plays an indispensable part in our life. The development of technology leads to the appearance of online games which contributes to changes in life. Whether games will do you good or not remains a controversy. Although games bring so many benefits, in my perspective, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

On the one hand, games teach you a lesson about life. To begin with, games practice your concentration which helps you apply to your study and work to set plans, focus mind on small objectives to reach the ultimate goal. In addition, games are beneficial for learning some social skills What's more, when it comes to playing games, persistence is always put into account. if you fail, you have to learn not to dwell on your failure and look on the bright side

On the other hand, parents tend to object to children's playing games due to various reasons. Firstly, overusing games does harm to children's health. It stands to reason that if kids put too much time into games, they will lead a sedentary lifestyle and be prone to catching diseases, Secondly, games draw people to the distraction of reality. To be more specific, players are obsessive with winning that they waste time immersing themselves in games. Last but not least, according to scientists, the wave of crime is partly attributed to game addiction. It is undeniable that adolescents may resort to violence in reality if they are affected by games and become out of control.

To sum up, games make considerable changes to our life but in my opinion, the advantages are overshadowed by disadvantages
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,000 3875  
Oct 28, 2021   #2
The writer must remember that there are a number of reference options to the word game. The word could refer to board games, street games, intellectual gamest, to name but a few types. That is why, for clarity purposes, he must attach an identifier to the word game. Refer to it as video, cyber, virtual, or digital These are some alternative identifiers for the video game reference in the ouginal. Such varied references will help the vocabulary score of the writer.

disadvantages outweigh the advantages

This perfectly sums up the writers opinion. Then, the reasoning problem presents itself.

On the one hand, games teach you a lesson about life.

On the other hand, parents tend to object to children's playing games due to various reasons.

These are the problem reasons with the essay. It creates a dual supporting discussion where a single supporting discussion is needed. Do not defend both sides. Use 2 reasons to convince the examiner that your opinion is the only correct one. This essay has failed to do that. It also lacks punctuation marks in a few sentences.
elinita123 2 / 2  
Oct 30, 2021   #3
I think your ideas are quite good but they should be illustrated with more examples and evidence. For e.g.:
- learning some social skills -> what skills?
- catch disease -> what diseases?
- waste time -> how much time do they spend on game?
This is just my suggestions for your consideration


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