Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Pls. help revise essay: The person who has great influence on me

tonydengcnu 23 / 17  
Nov 18, 2008   #1
The person who influenced me most is Mr. Hu Zhiwei, my math teacher in senior high school.
Mr. Hu is an American Chinese and has been teaching us Math since the second semester of Grade one. He is quite responsible, patient and humorous. To me, he is more than a math teacher. Within the past one year and half, I not only improved my math skills but also improved my logic thinking patterns.

From childhood, I have been keen on math and confident of my math abilities. So when Mr. Hu emphasized the importance of basics, I showed great impatience. He told me that a full comprehension of knowledge is based on both self-reflection and enlightenment on others. He also told me that to be a scholar, to be a man first. Despite some doubts, I still do as instructed. Gradually I realized my improvement in logic thinking through helping my classmates in solving some math questions and built up a good relationship with all friends around me. What he imparted on me is rigorous scholarship and life of philosophy.

Every time I have a leisure talk with Mr. Hu, I can reap great benefits. For example, when we learn exponential equation, he mentions its application in daily life. In financial matters, exponential equation has much to do with interest rate settlement and it can lead us for the maximum profits. In our life, programming and graphic design of popular PC games are both based on exponential equation. In fact, even population growth and multiplication of living creatures. What he said confirmed my belief that we learn math not only to deal with the test but also to apply it as solution to daily problems. The final goal of learning is to turn knowledge into skills and apply theory into practice.

Mr. Hu is quite influential to me. Though he is not teaching me now, what he said still sticks to my mind and will prove a great asset to my studies and life.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 18, 2008   #2
Good evening.

A few suggestions. First, make sure you are capitalizing only proper nouns and the first words of sentences. For instance, "Math" and "Grade" shouldn't be capitalized.

"Logic" should be "logical."

Avoid beginning your sentences with conjunctive/transitory words such as "so."

Now, go back through the piece and check for more situations such as these before you turn your paper in.

Best of luck!

Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP tonydengcnu 23 / 17  
Nov 19, 2008   #3
thanks for your help, Gloria.


Home / Writing Feedback / Pls. help revise essay: The person who has great influence on me