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The point of view that children who study at home have best opportunity for developing themselves


mardian24 46 / 75  
Nov 29, 2016   #1
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, the majority of people take the view that children who study at home have the best way for developing themselves, while the other people declare that children need to go to school for studying. However, as far as I am concerned, both of those methods have benefit to be implemented in children these days. This essay will first discuss about that children will get full attention due to studying at home and then talk about that socialize is very essential to be learnt which only exists at school.

To begin with, there is a positive side for teenagers to study in their home. Youngsters will acquire full attention from their family owing to the fact that they can watch the process for studying directly. So, if there is something wrong with the activity, parents or other members in family can give advice and tell what children supposed to do. For instance, home schooling has been applied as the methods for studying, and still exists until now. It means that it is a better choice for learning. It is my firm belief that, it is good for family to give more effort an extra care for their lovely children in the nearest place (home).

On the other hand, youngsters need to go to school to get better education. They can learn how to interact with other people and it is the most significant aspect for them to enter the real world in their life. According to a publication from UNICEF in 2007 said that eight from ten successful persons in London finished their education at school. It means that well educated can be achieved from school due to the fact that children will understand much knowledge rather than at home. Therefore, I think that school is the greatest place for studying because they can learn about how to solve social problems with other people.

To sum up, family will give more attention while children are studying at home, but school give more advantages for children due to the experience by interacting with their friends, teachers, or officers.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Nov 29, 2016   #2
Mardian,

I can notice that you have successfully followed the appropriate format of an IELTS task 2. Yet, some improvements for the betterment of your essay are still needed. You can see them in the detailed descriptions below.

- Nowadays(Nowadays is less academic)These days , the majority of people take the viewthink/believe that children... (no comma needed) while the other people declare(be careful in choosing the appropriate word. "Declare" means different from "mention/say/state") that children...

- However, as far as I am concerned, both of those methods have some benefits to be implemented by parents for theirin children. these days.

- This essay will first discuss about thatwill getchildren's full attention due to studying at home and then, talk about thatsocialize is verythe essential of socializing and learning togetherto be learnt which only exists at school.

(after "about" it should be phrase not sentence)


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