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politicians have the greatest influence on the world.


valency 8 / 10  
Dec 3, 2012   #1
Some people think that politicians have the greatest influence on the world. Other people, however, believe that scientists have the greatest influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which party has a greater influential power in the world has sparked a heated debate, with some individuals perceiving that politicians have more significant power than scientists. Nevertheless, other people are against this statement as they assert that both politicians and scientists are playing indispensable roles in changing people's everyday life.

There is no denying that politicians are the major parties in making strategic foreign policies to safeguard the national interests among the world and boost economic development of countries. Specifically, politicians, as lawmakers, are primarily responsible for utilizing their power enact international laws for maintaining social order of law-abiding citizens. A case in this point is the pressing task for them to solve the conflicts between the host countries and other countries. Apart from this, they are responsible for establishing sound economic systems and overall well beings of countries. A case in this point is deciding what financial policy should be adopted when countries are in the different stage of economic cycles. Consequently, those decisions made by representatives in the authority have a profound impact on stability not only one nation but also the whole world.

Nevertheless, technologies invented by scientists have revolutionized our life significantly. Thanks to their endeavor in the conduction massive scientific researches, exploration and experiments, our everyday life can be modernized and our living standards are lifted dramatically. Besides, technologies overcome the obstacles of time and distance, which make our life more convenient and easier. The prevalence of mobile phones, the Internet, air travel serve as convincing illustrations. Without those innovations, we would still rely on woods to light. As a result, scientists substantially impact on human society.

In brief, it is hard to tell which party is more powerful, since both politicians and scientists are crucial in terms of developing a harmonious society.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 3, 2012   #2
Hi Valency,

Which party has a greater influential power in the world has sparked a heated debate, with some individuals perceiving that politicians have more significant power than scientists. Nevertheless, other people are against this statement as they assert that both politicians and scientists are playing indispensable roles in changing people's everyday life

Very good... but you have not stated your opinion : (
It is good to state your opinion in the introduction itself so that the reader (in your case he would be your examiner) would follow you with more ease. In fact you can take him in your desired direction. : )

This is the most recommended structure for this task;
1. Introduction - introduce your topic very briefly. State your opinion.(you can agree/ disagree or take a moderate stance)
2. 1st Body Para - Give your first reason as to why you hold that view. Give a specific example to support it.
3. 2nd Body Para - Your second reason +example
4. Conclusion - Sum up everything said above and re-instate your opinion.
I tried this out and got a real good score. This is the best way to manage time at the exam because time has a major bearing on everything you do at the exam. If you follow this structure in your practice essays, you can surely go for a flying score : )

Let's align your first body para as per the above structure;


There is no denying that politicians are the major parties in making strategic foreign policies to safeguard the national interests among the world and boost economic development of countries.(for me, both your reason and example are found in this line... i would be expanding this idea below... have a look! )Specifically, politicians, as lawmakers, are primarily responsible for utilizing their power enact international laws for maintaining social order of law-abiding citizens. A case in this point is the pressing task for them to solve the conflicts between the host countries and other countries. Apart from this, they are responsible for establishing sound economic systems and overall well beings of countries. A case in this point is deciding what financial policy should be adopted when countries are in the different stage of economic cycles. Consequently, those decisions made by representatives in the authority have a profound impact on stability not only one nation but also the whole world.

First, there is no doubt that politians have a great influence on the world. (this sentence is for you to align the prompt with your reason) They are the people who make strategic foreign policies that have profound influence on other countries as well. (this is your reason why you think politicians have an influencial role to play on the world ) In many instances we could observe that their policy making is more inclined towards resolving their national interests as well as safeguarging their own political interests. For example, Adolf Hitler's strong influence on systematic extermination and ethinic cleansing had the entire world wrapped with woes. (specific example )
OP valency 8 / 10  
Dec 4, 2012   #3
hey dumi:

I found you are quite good at it! 
After thinking about what you said, i am starting to get a idea how to write.

Thank you
Could you please to check about my rest paragraphs ?

Regards
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 4, 2012   #4
Sorry... small mistake

resolving their national interestsissues

.... I just cut and pasted your line :D
OP valency 8 / 10  
Dec 4, 2012   #5
Yeah, got it. How about the other paragraph? Would you like to make some comments as well? Dumi?
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Dec 4, 2012   #6
I like the way you have organized the essay. Its very clear. One paragraph for the politicians and one for the scientists. :)
Here are some suggestions that might be useful.

Nevertheless, other people are against this statement as they assert that both politicians and scientists are playing indispensable roles in changing people's everyday life.

I don't think you need the "Nevertheless" part here.
Other people are against this statement as they assert that both politicians and scientists are playing indispensable roles in changing people's everyday life.

I think it would be better to add a little bit more about scientists.

This is a good essay and I hope my suggestions helped. :)


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