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IELTS: pollution and traffic growth - higher gas price as the obvious solution?


amalianhanifah 1 / -  
Mar 26, 2018   #1
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree and disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?


how to solve pollution and traffic growth issue?



These days, most of the population on earth has their own transportation that make a real contribution in making pollution and traffic growth which are unlikely to be avoided. Some people think increasing gasoline price is the best method to solve those issues. I agree to some extent that it would help to reduce the problems, but it needs to be followed with others methods so that people can see the satisfied result.

Growing traffic is caused by the used of transportation that is getting higher from time to time. The increasing of transportation goes along with the increasing of population. People that can afford buying a new transportation will do that with some various reasons, like getting bored with the old one or wanting to have the newest specification in the transportation they want to buy that they do not have in their old one. In other case, some parents want their children to have their own transportation to make it easier to go somewhere so they buy them one. Having transportation will lead into fuel consumption, therefore increasing gasoline price might be an effective to reduce the problem.

Pollution is one thing that cannot be avoided of transportation. The more transportation is used, the more it pollutes the environment. There is nothing that could reduce this unless the transportation production is limited to some extent. There needs a policy for manufacture industry to limit it into some numbers of production.

Increasing gasoline price might be one of effective ways to reduce growing traffic and pollution problems, but it will not solve it all. In my personal view, it is not the only thing that needs to do because transportation is a necessity for people and they would do everything to fulfill it. It needs to be followed with something, for example a limitation in manufacture industry to produce transportation.

PeterBrown 16 / 25 6  
Mar 26, 2018   #2
Hi amalianhanifah
This is a good essay, but I think you can improve it by including some relevant examples in the body paragraphs and avoiding writing the opinion sentence in in the middle of the conclusion( it should be the last sentence) .

Also, according the prompt, you have to indicate the extent to which you agree with the statement provided, so you need to not only express this clearly in the introduction, but also conclusion.
kikiyiu 5 / 12 2  
Mar 27, 2018   #3
Example is a must in test two, you can check the marking scheme when you are writing. In this topic, you can state that people are more willing to bring their own bag to shopping when there is a tax on plastic bag, to prove increasing the cost can let people not to do something which will harm the environment.
fadlanmuzakki 15 / 49 36  
Mar 27, 2018   #4
Hi Amalia Hanifah, it is glad to see your writing here. So, you will get a number of feedbacks not only from me, but also from the others :)

these are my comments for your essay:

These days, most of the population on earth has ...

-> it is understood that you want to write an interesting intro sentence for your essay, but dont forget to pay attention to the flow of your sentence. This is my sample : People are now relying on vehicles to move from one to another place.

Some people think increasing gasoline price ...

it is better to write : Some people believe that

others methods

-> methods

here is my sample: while I am supporting the policy, I firmly believe that the implementation will be really impactfull if it is supported by other factors.

Growing traffic is caused by the used of transportation that ...

I understand that you want to explain what you have mentioned in the previous paragraph, but you need to pay attention to the structure of your paragraph.

Pollution is one thing ...

your paragraph three is too little, I suggest you to put more ideas here

then, in the last paragraph, you need to construct your conclusion as a closing point of your essay.

This is the pattern for you to construct your essay:

PARAGRAPH ONE:
·introduction sentence which is interesting relating to topic
·Paraphrase the opinion and the topic
·Opinion one
·Opinion two (if any)
·Your position (agree or not)


PARAGRAPH TWO:
·Thesis statement 1
·Supporting thesis statement
·Example
·Data (if any)
·Mini conclusion


PARAGRAPH THREE:
·Thesis statement 2
·Supporting thesis statement
·Example
·Data (if any)
·Mini conclusion

PARAGRAPH FOUR:
YOUR OWN OPINION (IF POSSIBLE)
PARAGRAPH FIVE: CONCLUSION


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