Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

IELTS; Popular events help ease international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions


BALOCH 1 / 1 1  
Oct 8, 2013   #1
PLEASE MARK ME FOR IELTS SCORE
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

International games are the great source of relationship among the nations which bring their citizen close to each others. These events generally develop to vanish the problems among the countries. Mostly peoples believed that these arrangements make peoples come towards each other and shows their loyalty and devotion for the country. These sports events can help reduce international relations remarkably and provides national pride safely.

Many peoples participates or join to sports events because they makes them happy, excited and enjoyable. The aim of the sports program are usually to decrease the international problems and bind the spectators of two countries at one ground. For example, before starting or after the ending of football/cricket match, the players of teams usually shake the hands and hug to others players of team which represents the great sign of peace and friendship. sports program open the path of good relationship to meet their citizens with other nation citizens.

Peoples show their loyalty and devotion before, during or after the match. Sports fans are everywhere to changing how they express their support and spend their money and time. For instant, i have remembered that when Pakistan had won the world cup of cricket for first time in 1992. a festival atmosphere in every part of the country. Peoples from all ages celebrated in the streets, they made tattoos on their faces and sang a different types of song for pride. These events make peoples self pride for their nation.

I firmly support for the promotion of the sports. They have significant effect on the nation and bring all nations together on a single platform to represent their country and play pride for it. These are sources of forgetting their foes and reduce enmity.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 8, 2013   #2
International games are the great source of relationship among the nations which bring their citizen close to each others.

International games provide the opportunity to build healthy relationships between nations which promotes peace and harmony in the world.

Many peoplespeople participates or join to sports events because they makes them happy, excited and enjoyable

"People" is the right word and it means a collection of men/women. So it is a plural word. .... People participate
They have a significant effect on the nation and bringing all nations together on a single platform to represent their country and play in pride for it.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Oct 9, 2013   #3
These events generally develop to vanish the problems among the countries.

These events help ease tension among different nations.

Mostly peoples believedbelieve that these arrangements make peoplesthem come towards each other and showsshow their loyalty and devotion for the country

There are several grammar issues here. As Pahan has highlighted above, "people" is a plural word and "peoples" is wrong.

[quote=BALOCH] They have significant effect on the nation and bringing all nations together on a single platform to represent their country and play pride for it /quote]

You need to pay more attention to your grammar.
OP BALOCH 1 / 1 1  
Oct 9, 2013   #4
THANKS for your suggestion


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS; Popular events help ease international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions