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Ielts: most popular sports - the pie chart


Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
May 1, 2014   #1
The pie chart below provides us with the information about most popular sports among people aged 5-14 years old. The indexes are given in percentages.

Overall, it can be said that the highest percentage of popularness belongs to soccer(26%), whilst karate(8%) and other sports(4%) apart from swimming, baseball, basketball and volleyball have the lowest indications.

In more details, the most popularized type of sport among the people of these ages next to soccer is swimming activities(22% respectively). It is interesting to note that sports such as: volleyball and basketball own the same percentages(11%). In addition, baseball has 7% more than basketball and volleyball(18%) and as a result ranks the third place.

fikri 5 / 317 71  
May 1, 2014   #2
where is the chart?
when you post writing task 1, you should put the picture as well, (attach file)
this is the rule in essayforum
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
May 1, 2014   #3
Yes, you need to upload the chart for us to provided you with meaningful feedbacks. Use the "Attach file(s)" feature in the Message block to upload your image file.

Overall, it can be said that the highest percentage of popularness belongs to soccer(26%), whilst karate(8%) and other sports(4%) apart from swimming, baseball, basketball and volleyball have the lowest indications.

I guess this is your Overview statement. However, in the overview you do not give details e.g.

soccer(26%), whilst karate(8%) and other sports(4%)

Instead you talk about the major trend / trends very briefly to give the reader an overall picture about what the image presents.
Also, have at least two detailed paragraphs.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 2, 2014   #4
As Pahan and fikri mentioned, you need to have your image uploaded. Without seeing the graph it is very difficult for us to provide you with more meaningful feedbacks.
OP Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
May 2, 2014   #6
Of course, I will take it into my consideration the next time!

Thank you! Now I have uploaded the picture) I will wait for your comments)
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
May 2, 2014   #7
Thank you! Now I have uploaded the picture) I will wait for your comments)

:D ...Here I'm again :D
Overall, it can be said that the highest percentage of popularnesspopularity belongs to soccer(26%), whilst karate(8%) and other sports(4%) apart from swimming, baseball, basketball and volleyball have the lowest indications.

Overall, it can be said that the highest percentage of popularness belongs to soccer(26%), whilst karate(8%) and other sports(4%) apart from swimming, baseball, basketball and volleyball have the lowest indications.

Well, in the overview you do not give details (e.g. 26%, 22% ), but discuss the main trend/ trends briefly to give the reader a background idea of the image presentation.

E.g.
Overall, Soccer had been the most popular game while Swimming and Baseball took the second and third places in their popularity.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
May 2, 2014   #8
The pie chart below provides us with the information about most popular sports among people aged 5-14 years old. The indexes are given in percentages.

The pie chart presents data concerning the most popular sports among children aged 5-14 years old in percentage terms.

In more details, the most popularized type of sport among the people of these ages next to soccer is swimming activities(22% respectively). It is interesting to note that sports such as: volleyball and basketball own the same percentages(11%). In addition, baseball has 7% more than basketball and volleyball(18%) and as a result ranks the third place.

Soccer records the highest participation rates of children between the ages of 5 to 14 with 26%, which is 4% higher than the figure for children involved in swimming. It is closely followed by the proportion of the third most popular sports, baseball, at 18%. The percentages of children who take part in basketball and volleyball are similar with 11% each while only 8% of these children enjoy practicing karate. Other sports constitute the remaining 4%.
OP Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
May 2, 2014   #9
Dear Pahan and MisterWandering thank you very much! What can you say about coherence and grammar??


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