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Ielts Writing task 1: The portion of different ages of the population in Yemen and Italy


trangkhanhle 2 / 5  
Sep 18, 2013   #1
This pie chart indicates the portion of different ages of the population, including 0-14 years, 15-59 years and 60+ years in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and plan for 2050.

Firstly, in Yemen, the ages of population from 0-14 years old has the greatest percentage in 2010 with half of population of this country, 50.1%. Besides, the portion of peope from 15-59 years old also plays an important role in total number of Yemen's population, has 46.3 %. However, in 2015, portion of people from 15-59 years old will reach 57.3%, increase 11%, which partly illustrates why the percentage of 0-14 years old people decrease 12.9% until 2015.

On the other hand, the amount of people who are beyond 60 years old in Yemen do not have many changes over this period, it only has a small percentage in the total number of habitants and grow slowly in 50 years.

Similarly, in Italy, the number of people from 15-59 years old are the substantial figures during 50 years, but it would have been dropped slightly from 61.6% to 46.2%, approximately 5.5%. Meanwhile, people over 60 years old are becoming popular more than ever in these 50 years in Italy, with a significant increase 18.2%. Also, people under 14 years old take 14.3% in 2010 and has the tendency to go down a little bit after 50 years.

In conclusion, this figures shows that 15-59 years old is the most popular ages from 2010 to 2015 though it has different trends in the two countries. In addition, the apparent contrast of both nations is the percentage of people who are under 14 years old and over 60 years old. While Yemen has a young population, Italy is opposite, absolutely. However, there will have been some changes in these figures in the futures, especially in these 50 years. Italy would have to pay a large amount of money for social welfare unless government will find out precautions from increasing the old people number.






hpatel 3 / 6 1  
Sep 19, 2013   #2
hi
This pie chart indicates the portion of different ages of the population, including 0-14 years, 15-59 years and 60+ years in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and plan for 2050

introduction seems complex with too much numeric info.
this pie chart delineates the percentage of different ages of population of the countires yemen and italy,for the year 2000 and possible statistics for the year 2050
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Sep 19, 2013   #3
The first thing you should pay attention to is what tense should be used in your essay. In this kind of task, you should use simple past tense when reporting the features of 2000 and future tense for 2050. Also, your essay is too long (331 words - it is even longer than a Task 2 essay). In the real test, you have to complete 2 essays in only one hour so make sure to spend your time wisely.

This pie chart indicates the portion of different ages of the population, including 0-14 years, 15-59 years and 60+ years in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and plan for 2050.

The pie charts illustrate the changes in the proportion of different age groups in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and 2050.

the ages of population from 0-14 years old

the population aged 0 - 14 years old

has the greatest percentage in 2010

accounted for the highest percentage in 2010

half of population of this country, 50.1%

around half of the country

plays an important role in total number of Yemen's population

took up the second highest proportion. "Play an important role" is the wrong phrase in this case.

has 46.3 %

with 46.3%

portion of people

I think "proportion" is a better word. Portion means a part of something.

increase 11%

increasing by 11%

which partly illustrates why the percentage of 0-14 years old people decrease 12.9% until 2015.

You don't need to explain in Task 1 essay.

the amount of people

,

the number of people

Both are wrongly used in this essay. It should be "the proportion of" or "the percentage of"

are the substantial figures

took up the largest proportion

it would have been dropped

it is projected to drop

people over 60 years old are becoming popular more than ever

the percentage of elderly people are predicted to increase

the most popular ages

I don't think "popular" is the appropriate word.

Italy would have to pay a large amount of money for social welfare unless government will find out precautions from increasing the old people number.

This is not necessary.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Sep 25, 2013   #4
This pie chart indicates the portion of different ages of the population, including 0-14 years, 15-59 years and 60+ years in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and plan for 2050.

... Good introduction.
However, I feel it is good if your intro is followed by an overview of the graphs. The para you've written is a bit too detailed for a overview.


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