The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of
the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the
fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Women of the modern day society are engaged to work to make a living just like men. By doing this, some argue that less amount of time is spent looking after their children, which in turn results in problems like juvenile delinquency in young adults.It will be argued that ideal parenting has nothing to do with whether the mother is working or not.
It is proven that the length of time spent by a mother caring for her children is important. But then, how she shows her care for the youngsters is what really matters. For example, a mother maybe spending the whole day with her children but leaving them watching TV or doing unproductive activities all day, does not help the children at all. A mother can care for her children even distance is a hindrance.
In addition, there are various reasons why young adults, particularly teen-aged ones, engaged or involved in early adulthood problems. The people around them, like their friends, for instance, can greatly influence them on doing unpleasant activities with or without their mothers around them.
Apart from this, women have helped contribute financially for their family. This money can be of use in sending their children to school. It is a fact that when children are in school they learn to be moral individuals who practices good conducts, than spending their time playing on the streets.
After analysing that throughout the years, even if women has changed from being a plain house-wife to a socially accepted employees, little effects can be seen on up-bringing their children. It is strongly agreed that, problems young adults experience nowadays have little relation to women's career status.
Any comments/suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Hi Inspired2012 : )
So I'm here to comment on your essay :D ... LOL
It will be argued that ideal parenting has nothing to do with whether the mother is working or not.Hey.... why not say this straight? It would be more interesting and nice without getting us to stand on our head ...lol :I am of the view that ideal parenting has nothing to do with whether the mother is a working woman or not.
For example, a mother maybe spending the whole day with her children but leaving them to watch--------- great point; you are so clever :DGood structure; great ideas/ reasons with excellent examples... Go, do your exam and post us your scores to celebrate :D
watching TV or to do some doing unproductive activities all day , doesdo not help the children at all.
on THEIR CHILDREN'S UPBRINGING.
individuals who PRACTICE good....
BEAR little relation to...
Hey Dumi and princedynasty, thanks for your comments. Excellent corrections. ;)
To Dumi, i did IELTS 4x already, still could not get 7 in writing. The last one was on the 3rd of November.. results are coming out tom.. wish me luck ;)
Don't worry... You'll have a flying score :D
And my thoughts and prayers : )
I got 6 again Dumi I am so depressed ;(
If you are taking up it again, let me know .... I'll help you at my best.
I will Dumi, on the 24th. I will posts my essays and wait patiently for your suggestions. Thank you so much. I got good scores in other areas, I even reached a perfect 9 in listening, I wonder what's wrong with my essays that the examiners feel I deserve a 6. ;(
Poor you, my friend took the Ielts for the first time with little training but she got band 7 in writing easily(her scores in other parts are not as impressive as yours, 9 in listening OMG)
Wow good for her, I guess writing is my weakness and I needed to work hard on it. ;( For the three other parts, your friend needs to practice repeatedly and she will get flying scores for sure. But unfortunately writing is unpredictable, it is up to the examiner to decide.