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IELTS TASK 2: the positive and negative effects of the increase in the elders


crystal941 6 / 10 2  
Apr 21, 2014   #1
The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend?

Nowadays, there is an increase in the number of the elders in many countries, which leads to both positive and negative impacts on society.

On one hand, this trend can benefit society. The older people, undoubtedly, are more experienced and exceptional in certain areas than the younger generations, and so the society can benefit from them. For example, health practitioners who are aged 65 or more are more likely highly-skilled than the younger doctors and nurses. This is because they have studied more cases as their age increased, which means they not only know how to use conventional therapies but also know how to treat some unusual diseases with alternative therapies. As a result, patients can have better treatment from these older health practitioners.

On the other hand, the growing number of the elders has a negative effect on a country's economy. To explain this, most of the elderly do not work because they have already retired, and the government consequently needs to pay their pensions, which is increasing because of the rise in the number of the older people. That is to say, the country may suffer from a financial loss as a result of this rising spending on pensions. Furthermore, governments also need to spend more on the welfare for the elders, such as health care, nurseries, and free screening examinations, and this, as a consequence, also accounts for a considerable proportion of financial budget.

In conclusion, despite the sufficient experience and excellent skills, the elderly people may require an enormous amount of money from the government to be spent on their pensions and welfare as the number of them is growing.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 11, 2014   #2
Crystal, the prompt begs you to discuss the topic in the manner of a compare and contrast essay. That is why although you argued your position well, it lacked information and a comparison to prove that you have the right point of view about the increase in elders. While there are grammar issues with your paper, I believe that those should not be corrected until you have fixed the discussion contained in the essay. Only when you have revised the content satisfactorily should attention be paid to cleaning up the grammar problems. I have included my notes regarding the shortcomings of your discussion points below. I hope it helps you in revising the paper :-)

Nowadays, there is an increase in the number of the elders in many countries, which leads to both positive and negative impacts on society.

- You could expand this to a full paragraph by mentioning the point of view of young people about the increased number of elderly in society is. How they either consider it a good thing or a bad thing and why. Then mention, in passing how you feel about the increase in the number of elders as your thesis statement.

- There is a side to this reasoning that you have not discussed. That the fact that the young people do not want to seek medical advice from doctors who are over 60 because they feel that those doctors will be too familiar with the illnesses but will not be updated in knowledge about the modern treatments available. Thus making the increase in elderly medical professionals a negative thing.You can even further explain that this concern carries over to all aspects of employment and specialized occupations as well.

- Again, you failed to consider that although they are retirees, they contribute tremendously to the economy through their disposable income. They spend their pensions, which are notable in size, in order to support themselves and enjoy their retired life. They have a specific lifestyle that benefits the economy. Making the increase in older people a positive gain on the economic side.

In conclusion, despite the sufficient experience and excellent skills, the elderly people may require an enormous amount of money from the government to be spent on their pensions and welfare as the number of them is growing.

- Don't present new ideas in your conclusion. Simply restate your thesis and give a summary of your reasons.


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