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Writing task 2: positive and negative impacts of robots


lannguyen_mia 1 / -  
May 3, 2020   #1

robotic engineering



Topic: Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future society, while the others argue that robots might have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Rapid advances in technology have led to a surge of public interest in automation, including robots. While I accept that this field of technology may have its dangers, I believe that the benefits of robotic engineering outweigh the drawbacks.

The negative implications of robots are often discussed in terms of two key areas, which are rising in unemployment and the dependence on robots. The rise of robots has seriously disrupted many areas, resulting in the replacement of existing jobs, especially putting a toll on low-skilled workers. For example, in manufacturing, robots can perform manual tasks more effectively with ease and precipitation than human does, such as raw materials sorting. Another drawback that has to be taken into account is that the present of robots might discourage people from learning some of the basic survival skills. Taking cooking skill for example, a chef robot with the cutting edge of technology could make a well-prepared meal but it, at the same time, posts a problem while the machine itself is out of work.

While the negative impacts are inevitable, there are many positive effects that robots have on human society such as productivity growth and an excessive amount of spare time. If robots are used effectively, they enable company to become productive and competitive on the market. This encourages demand to be increased and boost the economic growth. For instance, a robot can work constantly 24/7 without any break and the feeling of boring, unlike a person, he or she is able to work from 8 to 10 hours a day with several breaks during working hours. Furthermore, by applying robotic engineering in the workplace and other aspects of life, people can have extra time to spend on personal leisure pursuits or try something new, giving a rise to life satisfaction and reduce anxiety.

In conclusion, I am convinced that robots will have a positive impact on our lives, and that people's fears will be unwarranted.

(323 words)
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Hi all, I am horning my writing skill to take the IELTS Test. I hope you guys can give me some feedback on my essays so that I can learn from you to be better. Thank you a lot!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
May 3, 2020   #2
Since this is your first essay, I can understand why you would end up messing up the discussion format like you did. I guess you are self studying from a book and trying to imitate what you see. That is the problem with self-teaching. You do not know when you are making a mistake in your presentation and how to fix it. So it will be best for me to open your eyes to the formatting situation of your essay first.

The first thing you have to understand is that you are required to outline your discussion parameters, based on the discussion instructions, after you paraphrase the original topic. For this type of essay, you must not present your direct opinion at the end of the paraphrased paragraph. That is because there is no direct question being asked that would require you to take such an action in your writing. Instead, you will merely deliver a restatement of the discussion instruction. regarding presenting 2 points of view, prior to the presentation of your opinion.

It would appear that in this essay, the best approach for you to have taken would have been to present your personal opinion per discussion topic. Based on your current presentation, you would have been able to present a solid opinion per paragraph using the following format:

Topic sentence: Positive impact (one topic only)
Explanation: Why this is an acceptable part of robotics based on the public point of view
Your opinion: Covering 2 sentences. Either you support this positive opinion or not.
Opinion Explanation: Supporting discussion of your personal point of view.
Total: 5 cohesive and coherent sentences

Use proper second or third person pronouns in your discussion of the public point of view to show that you are not yet presenting your personal opinion. When you explain your opinion, use the first person point of view. That way the examiner is clear about who is saying what and why. It adds up when he considers your C&C plus GRA score.

Never present your opinion as a single closing sentence. You have to present it either as a combined part of the 2 points of view discussion or, as a stand alone paragraph prior to the concluding summary. Your opinion needs to follow the formatting requirements of 3-5 sentences with supporting explanations and / or examples. The essay you presented is good but it does not represent the format required for the discussion. You may want to follow one of the two discussion suggestions I made here. Either use:

- The combined opinion approach (Public POV + Personal Opinion)
- 2 Paragraph public POV + 1 Personal opinion

To assure yourself of a better formatted and discussed essay presentation.


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