Positives and negatives of product globalization

Topic:
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay:
The vigorous explosion of globalization have laid the foundation for the free trade among nations whereby their citizens are capable of consuming parallel commodities. Although I agree that there are various drawbacks stemming from this development, they can be esclipsed by its benefits.

On the one hand, there are a variety of advantages of product globalization. Firstly, it would foster the economic growth of those countries. This is because business freely allows goods which are redundant can be exported to others needing them. As a result, it enables companies in both countries reap more profit, and simultaneously it contribute to the national budget through export and import taxes. Secondly, customers would have options to purchase products having a higher quality and a more reasonable price. Indeed, domestic companies need to have their own strategies such as improving designs, diversifing products or reducing the price to have capability to complete with external corporations.Without product globalization, local companies tent to offer opposite policies reducing client's benefits.

On the other hand, this is not to say that we can neglect disadvantages of this phenomanon. Admittedly, several domestic products would be liable to be disappeared when their customers value international items above other things. This is exemplified in a study undertaken by Vietnamese Economists. They indicated that about 35 Vietnamese cosmetic companies were ruined in 2018 bacause of their limitted competitive ability with other products from Korea, Japan and the UK. Moreover, it leads to business freely of some low quality products causing hazards to customer's health. For example, formula branch in China were banned to be exported by other countries after detecting a toxic product endangering the brain. Nonetheless, I strongly believe that the benefit of product globalization is more considerable in comparision with its drawbacks especially in current market-oriented market.

After discussing all the points mentioned above, I can finally conclude that globalization brings in various positives, and it utterly can overweigh its negatives. Thus, both government and individuals should have futher consideration in favour of this trend.

There are three main errors in your essay. The first, is in the paraphrase, you mistook the positive and negative discussion for an advantage v drawbacks discussion. It is just a mere word choice error but you should have known that there is a difference between the discussion instructions:

Positive - a good quality or characteristic.
Negative - a bad quality or characteristic

Drawbacks - a hindrance or disadvantage; an undesirable or objectionable feature.
Benefits - something that is advantageous or good; an advantage:

As you can see, you changed the discussion requirements by changing the word choice rather than synonyms in your essay. When writing your practice test, while you still have the chance, you should look up the meaning of the words that seem unfamiliar to you. Using the wrong words shows that you do not understand what the discussion requirements are. In this case, the essay is asking you to consider the positive and negative effects of uniform consumerism. That means, look into whether it is a good or bad thing for the economy, culture, or economic standing of a country. Pick one of the three to discuss in your 2 reasoning paragraph.

The second error, has to do with your concluding presentation. The essay is not asking you for an opinion. Do not present an opinion when it is not required. You have totally changed the discussion requirements and as such, you may have a hard time getting a passing score with this essay. it all has to do with your lack of understanding in relation to the keywords and instructions provided.

The third error, is how you failed to focus the response on a single discussion point of view. That means, you should not be presenting a comparative essay in a single opinion discussion. The two reasoning paragraphs need to have connected reasons that strongly highlight your response to the question. It should not be a non-committal response comparing two sides because you are scored on the clarity of your presentation and the clear opinion you are presenting in the discussion. Fail to provide those 2 requirements and it will become increasingly difficult to get a passing score.

PS. You should also work on writing 3-sentences per paragraph. Those are the minimum and maximum sentence requirements per paragraph. Your opening and closing paragraphs are both just run-on sentences that make it difficult to follow the flow of thought in those paragraphs. You need to understand, you cannot write 336 words in a 40 minute task. You need to allot time to edit and finalize your work. Try not to write between 275-290 words. That is the ideal word count for this task. It assures you of the best possible score, provided you properly responded to the prompt.