Hi, I am newbie here. I am planning to take an IELTS exam in September. Below is my essay in environmental topic. Please read and give some opinions on grammar, vocab... for me and I very appreciate if you can give me an IELTS band. Thanks so much !!!!
IELTS TASK 2. Increasing fuel cost
The best way to solve world's environmental problem is increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree and give your own opinion?
In recent decades, the question of whether or not increasing the cost of fuel can tackle the environmental pollutions has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this suggestion appears attractive, the disadvantages will be far more significant.
On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons which prove that the aforementioned method could be futile. Firstly, since the demands of commuting and transportation are always at high level, the life of citizens and the manufacturing of factories will not be influenced by the rising cost of fuel. In fact, people and employers consistently find out a way to deal with the changeable price of this kind of energy from past to present day, which means that it seems impossible to reduce the number of vehicles on the road as well as the emission of toxic air just by modifying the fuel price. Secondly, by making the fuel cost higher, the competition among oil exporters such as Central Asia countries, Russia or the USA will be more tremendous. This means that the exploitation of oil and gas will be stimulated in order to sell them with greater price, which definitely lead to the depletion of natural resources and a predictable rising of industrial waste in a near future.
On the other hand, in lieu of increasing the cost of fuel, it is highly recommended that governments adopt these following solutions. Firstly, in order to diminish the greenhouse effect gases, it is necessary to start using renewable energy such as nuclear power, hydro and sun power. For example, nowadays, electricity is mainly generated from nuclear energy, which helps, at the same time, reduce the emission of carbon dioxide and lessen the world's reliance on fossil fuels. Secondly, if every individual has awareness about waste classification, a huge amount of waste will be recycled and used for other useful motivations. Plenty of evidence suggest that besides of investing money on waste system management, this small action of every habitant can make the environment less polluted and more livable.
In conclusion, increasing the price of fuel should not be considered as the most ultimate way to solve the environmental problems. By applying alternative solutions mentioned above, government and individuals can make the situation better.@khucthutrang
Hello there. Welcome to the forum! I'll be providing you with writing feedback on your essay. I hope you find this beneficial.
First and foremost, try to create more straightforward sentences that would pack more meaning. What this pertains to would be using writing techniques to help you have a more straightforward, no-fuss writing style. You can do this by shortening your sentences altogether.
Furthermore, you have quite bulky paragraph patterns. I suggest trying to make them better through evading over explaining and focusing more on key aspects of your written account. For instance, your second paragraph is quite excessive. Try to limit yourself to three to four sentences overall.
Best of luck as always in your writing.
